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Original poster

I’m finding it hard to transition from married to single parent with a boyfriend.

9 replies

Strawberryfields11 · 02/09/2021 19:14

It has been a few years since I was divorced and I remained single throughout this as the relationship and divorce was a messy and took some time to get over.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year but I just feel confused at times. He has no children and I have one primary age child. I find it difficult going from having a family to being single and dating. I don’t know how much to expect from him. It’s not his child, he doesn’t really have any responsibility for dc.

He comes and he goes as we both have our own house. For me the bond to be a family is quite strong. He is great with my child, they get on so well and bf tells me that he is happy with us. I just feel so confused about how to behave.

Does this make any sense?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 02/09/2021 19:18

What responsibility for your child are you expecting?

Original poster
Strawberryfields11 · 02/09/2021 19:22

I really don’t know, I’m thinking in the future. I overthink and wonder how it must feel to be with someone and not be the actual father.

OP posts:
Peace43 · 02/09/2021 19:29

My DD is 10. She has a Dad and my boyfriend is never going to be that. They like each other. I’d like him to be viewed as a caring uncle eventually. I don’t expect him to ever take parental responsibility for her. I expect them both to be friendly and respectful with each other. I see the seeds of affection in their interactions. However I have no intention of moving in with my boyfriend because it would muddy all this up (and I like living without him!)

Original poster
Strawberryfields11 · 02/09/2021 19:33

I guess I feel more confused because my child’s dad walked away from them years ago so they don’t have one.

OP posts:
imacuddler · 02/09/2021 19:39

I understand what you mean. It's weird isn't it.
Not what you expect when you get married.

Original poster
Strawberryfields11 · 02/09/2021 19:54

@imacuddler it really isn’t what I expected at all. An ex who walked away from his child who is 5 now and a boyfriend who is 100x more amazing than ex.

OP posts:
sneezybreezy · 02/09/2021 20:28

I guess you're hoping your boyfriend might want to adopt your son and you live as a nuclear family. I think you'll have to be guided by what your boyfriend wants here

LV2NY · 03/09/2021 01:21

Does your boyfriend want children eventually? Do you want more?

SemperIdem · 03/09/2021 08:23

I understand what you’re saying here. Met my partner shortly after I left my marriage, didn’t expect anything of it but have been together ever since. In some ways, it was a mistake not to give myself time to consider expectations because now it feels like it’s ending and he very much has a father role in my child’s life but no obligations. I was freer to leave my marriage than I am to leave this relationship.

So my advice is maintain strong boundaries and not allow lines to become blurred. Just in case.

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