What do I do now?

[isettled]

DH has just moved out, packed his bag and gone.

We had a talk a couple of months ago that he wasn't happy with how things were and I was working to change things for us(they were my issues entirely).
First day of annual leave together and instead of going for brunch as I planned we've separated and he's gone.
Just like that...well after 5hrs of talking but that's it.....over. He's checked out, feels like we want different things and is gone.
No children or pets but they were in the pipeline, obviously not now, he's just away.

I have no one to even talk to about it. He's away to think and I'm here ready to be sick and stress cleaning.

Were all the issues really all yours?

why are they only your issues?

That's tough on you. Don't forget the decision to return doesn't lie in his hands now - you have to think what's best for you.

Can you afford to stay there alone?

I openly admit the vast majority of the issues boiled down to me (i'm not being self deprecating it's true) and we're about wanting kids. I just didn't think he was that unhappy that he was going.
I feel like there was no time for me to fix things and he's just gone

@HollowTalk no I don't think I can need to look into that but I doubt it.

It's all very amicable at the moment, he's gone to think, will work out financial things in due course but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do.
On the plus side it will help with the diet.

Now you focus on YOU channel in on all your interests, go out, take up new interests,read,watch comedies just do you

I just feel I don't know who I am without him which sounds ridiculous. Our lives are so entwined.
This annual leave was for us to start trying for a family......now I'm sat watching the chase with a pounding sore head and eyes like golf balls from crying. He barely even shed a tear, he's just done and I know he's not coming back. I just don't really know how I move on/continue

Well his poor choice...! He could have been dtd but has chosen not too!
What were the issues where they related to your physical / mental health, debts/money or family?
Why would someone just walk out unless the issues were really big! Also you must have a view point as well did he consider it?

Mental health/emotion related but not really disclosed to him the full reasons behind it until today.

He sees where i'm coming from but is numb and switched off and just doesn't feel that way about us as a couple anymore.

If he could have walked out the door and never seen me again he would have. I've asked him to go and think about it and we will talk again next week.

He's not a bad guy, he's great and I've maybe realised that too late but I can't really be angry with him as much as I want to be. He's a good guy, brilliant. He's just not mine any more

Were you together long OP? Do you think actually buckling down and beginning starting a family gave him a realisation or have the other issues been clouding things for a while do you think?

Together almost 15yrs. Kids are all he wanted but I was hesitant for too long. There's other issues around work but nothing I thought would lead to this.
I'm just devastated it's came to this and I didn't see it coming

These things do happen quicker then expected but you need to keep positive and with a can do attitude. Easier said then done but as there are no kids involved you can get a clean break and move on

I've sent him a long email outlining all the things I want, which are all the things he wanted too.

I'm hoping time away is giving him time to think.

I just feel awful. I'm on the verge of tears all the time, can't sleep, can't eat. I can't do this, which sounds dramatic but it's true. It's only been 36hrs but it feel like a lifetime.

So you've been together for 15 years and you didn't want kids until now?

I didn't not want kids, there was always reasons I could give that meant kids weren't going to fit our life style and would be incredibly difficult. He knew this but didn't really challenge it.

There was also an incident in my past (he wasn't aware) that affected me more that I was prepared to admit and made me switched off. I have worked on that as I knew it wasn't healthy. We moved house and have been working on it, now it's done it was time to start trying to expand our family but it's too late.