It's been almost a year since I sat my children's dad down and said we haven't been working for 2 years and I felt we were over. I've gently brought it up several times since and he's not budging. He's waiting for me just incase. He doesn't want to discuss the house or anything. I'm currently not working as I care for my kids and will be returning to work next year around school hours I hope! I don't wish to be living of him but he just doesn't want to change the kids lives. Which I understand.
2 months ago I started dating someone. We've known eachother 18 months now. I'm not sure yet what it is. We've discussed long term so far we feel we've got close very quickly. But who knows! There's alot to consider and so I treat it as something for me right now. Sex. Conversation. Laughter.
Right now it doesn't involve my children. It doesn't involve family. But I'm walking around feeling so guilty and it's because my ex won't have the conversation we need to have. He knows about this man and that we talk and there are emotions and feelings. But I believe he would let me get away with anything and get back with my tomorrow, which I don't want!! I am managing his feelings. So once a week I stay out for a night and one night I go out for about 4 hours after the kids are in bed. But I feel like I'm being timed. I feel under pressure and like ill get caught out soon. I've opened up to my sister and close friends but everyone else is in the dark. All because he doesn't want to tell his family.
Am I a bad person for wanting a man in my life?