My bloody ex is using me isn’t he

[Sandybeachtowel]

Was with ex on and off for two years. We work in the same building, but not department. I see him in passing pretty much five days a week. For a year we didn’t really speak because i called it off because he was stringing me along.
We got chatting one day and I asked him if we could be friends. He said he would like that.

We have been chatting a few times a week. Usually instigated by me.
He will do this weird thing on messenger where he turns his active status off all day but pop it on at 11pm at night and he only chats to me late at night.
I had a big presentation on Monday and he’s not asked me how it went, even though he knew I was nervous about it. He’s kinda blew cold to be honest.
I was hoping we could build up a friendship but to be honest I think I wanted more. I just wanted to see if he wanted it or pushed it.
The fact he doesn’t speak to me during the day and only late at night shows he’s just using me to relieve boredom doesn’t it?
He’s off sick just now with a broken leg and he’s admitted he’s home, bored and watching tv all day….but texts me at 11pm

I made a decision tonight to not be online at that time and just pack all this in.
How do I handle this? Block and ghost? Have a conversation about it? Just distance myself, I dunno 🤷‍♀️ but it seems he’s not genuine or interested anyway.

You've created a situation in your head that is not the same in reality. He is just responding to you out of politeness, agreed to be friends out of politeness, probably turns his messenger on when he's chilled for the night and able to speak. I doubt it's specifically for you that he is turning it on for.

@Sandybeachtowel

I think it’s just the fact he doesn’t message me in the day time and only at night that suggests he’s just using me as a means to reduce boredom. Found out today from someone he was seeing someone, so yeah I think he’s waiting until she’s in bed or he’s alone before hovering around wanting an ego stroke from me. I’m just not going to message him or go online at night, I’m sure his true intentions will reveal themselves. I don’t want to be last on someone’s priority list or someone’s side piece.

You're making it sound like its compulsive to text him once youre online. Im so confused. Can't you be online and just ignore him without it costing you so much effort?

Are you sure he's not just messaging you once his girlfriend is asleep and is turning active status off so it looks like he's busy?

@SmallDragonfly yes I think that’s exactly what he’s doing.
We used to go out so I know he used to turn it on and off when we were going out before and always had it on when talking to me. When we broke up he kept it off, now I’m on the scene it’s coming back on at 11pm and if I go offline he does too.
It sounds nuts but I know it’s happening

I’m sorry you’re caught up in something that’s making you frustrated and sad. It’s really easy for us as outsiders to be blunt about the situation but it’s different for you because you want there to be something between you both. I don’t ever have my active status on and use messenger all the time, I don’t really want my pals knowing when I’m using Facebook or not. How about to wean yourself off, keep your active status off to begin with? It won’t stop you messaging any other friends in the evening, if that’s what you like to do.

basaed o your latest reply:

stop being the crazy stalker ex, you are delusional, he has moved on, he is not interested in u at all!!!