I split with my kid's dad 3 years ago and rushed into another disastrous relationship months after wards. Anyway, I split with him around a year ago and have spent the time on my own working out what I wasnt from my future.
I still crave that "special someone" however. I see families together, couples hand in hand and I've never had that. All I've ever had are child-men who think about themselves only or miserable gits that did whatever they could to spend as little time with me as possible.
Therefore I promised myself that I would never settle for second best anymore, I've spent time on my own, getting to know and respect myself and now I feel like I'm at a point where I'm ready for a new relationship.
So I join up on some dating sites (never go anywhere to meet anyone naturally) and I get talking to people but as soon as they mention meeting up I freeze and make excuses. I feel maybe I'm too fat, too ugly...when they see me they will run a mile then I'll be hurt...
I mean, who would want a single parent on benefits living in a council house? so I think maybe I should wait until I'm working, in private housing and slimmer? but then surely if a person liked me it wouldn't be because of what house I lived in?
I'm just so confused right now. I know the person I want to be and I'm taking steps to get there but should I wait until I'm completely there before trying to find a new relationship or shouldn't it matter?