Online dating is shit

[Zetec2021]

Don't know what I want from this post but just somewhere to vent anonymously I guess.

I'm 39, never had a long term relationship and just so fed up of never meeting anyone decent.

The chance of me ever finding a partner is zero because I'm not straight.

I have tried online dating umpteen times but just never click with anyone or find them physically attractive. I have wasted my 30s looking for a relationship and here I am still single.

I give up I honestly do because I can't be bothered anymore with the emotional rollercoaster dating is.

Online dating is a load of shit. Rant over!

Join some local clubs. Online or in person. Make it hobbies that you enjoy, and meet people that way. It can help me move the pressure.

Online dating can be troublesome. Especially for people who aren't looking for the opposite sex

Online dating is shit!! I'm straight and it's a nightmare so can only imagine it's harder to find love online if you're not straight.

Nothing constructive to add but you have my sympathy!

Yep I agree, online dating is pure shite!

just never click with anyone or find them physically attractive.

If you're expecting immediate clicks, then you'll probably never find.
It can happen, I suppose, but for many people it can take some time for love to grow.

Love is more than a click and physical attractiveness.
I would look for people I could get along with and get to know them.

Don't think your chances are zero because you're not straight.
But they will be zero if you turn away people because you didn't click on a first or second date.

Couldn't agree more! I think it's more difficult if anyone is all out for a romantic connection, it creates a lot of pressure for everyone. Have you tried just looking to expand your social circle and meeting those you have interests/hobbies etc in common? Even if sparks don't fly then you've maybe gained a decent friend? Priorities may be different now that you're coming out of your 30's so perhaps look at the things that are really important about friends and a potential partner now? Sometimes when we stop looking is the time when something finds us lol.

I was on old for 6 months, after 5.5 months I was in tears literally because men are so horrible, but then just before my subscription ran out I met dp, we clicked straight away and less than 2 years on we have a house, (adult) kids blended living with us etc. Don't give up hope, there's horror stories out there but also fairy tales

Hannggggg on. Online dating isn't shit. Some experiences are shit. But online dating is actually great for meeting new people and expanding your social horizons - IF - you have realistic expectations and patience.

Of course, if your outlook is it's shit, guess what it will continue to be for you? Shit.

So why not go into it looking at new ways to socialise, and go on dates with no expectations of any fireworks or chemistry and let nature do it's job. You might end up attracted to someone who you never thought you would be, just as in real life.

I married my tinder match so I have some wisdom here!! So I would say match with anyone you consider like a 7/10 in attractiveness. Then to sift number 2, the texting stage (bear in mind you might get sifted yourself at this stage too)then suggest or accept a meet up (sift number 3) and sift number 4 - do you fancy them in person and they you?

If not, fine! Is it a new friend? Maybe, maybe not. But online dating is what you make of it, to be honest, it's all just people like you trying to find their way and their right fit.

The first biggest issue is that whilst you could match 100% online, you may have 0 spark in reality. That's if you even get that far. Much like an instagram account we all seem to be really picky and we are wary of so many things, like speed of reply, do they seem interested. What's over on the next page.

I think because people don't need to reply because they aren't in front of you in reality it's all a bit of a game. I did meet my partner on an app but it took about 4 years before that happened. Yes I occassionally met someone nice but the first thing I mentioned was crucial.

As others have said, join a club, get involved with something or find a way to talk to someone you like in reality.

I found OLD a waste of time because the instant I met dates in the flesh I knew whether I fancied them or not and it was always not after spending time messaging and talking, etc. Anyway, I binned it off and went and took up a couple of hobbies. Met DP through a mutual friend, nothing to do with OLD or my hobbies.

Hear hear...
I am also not straight and also struggling with OLD.
I am also hoping for an instant attraction followed by a discovery that we are absolute soulmates and are simply meant to be together forever :)

No luck so far.

Someone on here likened OLD to wading through a river of human effluent and I think I agree!

I don't want a partner so badly that I'll put myself through that shit to get one

So no help from me OP but you are not alone

You are deffo not alone, I think OLD probably works for some people but not others...not me, I'm 39 and divorced but now ready after 4 years single to find someone, but not at the detriment of if making me feel like crap!
Sometimes it happens when you aren't looking or you could just enjoy meeting/kissing plenty of frogs in the meantime!

Hannggggg on. Online dating isn't shit. Some experiences are shit. But online dating is actually great for meeting new people and expanding your social horizons

I agree somewhat with this as it’s given me the opportunity to interact with far more women in a relatively short period of time (far more than in real life), if those interactions go any where or not or a different matter, some experiences have been good, some not so good, but I don’t know what the male equivalent of kissing a lot of frogs is, (well I have an idea)

@JustAnother0ldMan exactly. It's the modern day equivalent of being out in the pub or club when we were younger making eyes across the dancefloor. Sometimes might go well, sometimes might not - it's just an online version of that. The way some people speak about OLD they expect the perfect mate to be something you order online that comes with a bow...Dating is just that - going out one date at a time and seeing what happens.

@Gilda152, I always think it like looking for a new member of staff, you advertise (put your profile on line ), look at the the CVs (profiles of people you like), then you move to the telephone interview (online chat etc ), then you move to a face to face interview (1st date etc), to see if how the profile stacks up against the person, if it does then that person gets the job !

The OLD platforms bring those potential people directly to your sofa (or wherever your sitting), and potentially 1000’s of people, I could probably look at the profiles of 100 women a day, and I’m sure you could look at 100 guys a day, so from that POV, OLD works okay.

If any of 100 women actually want to meet me is another matter entirely…