Dark nights are coming

[ChewbaccaBabe]

I usually love Autumn, the dark cosy nights, crisp weather... but I've separated from my husband of 21 years and have been living alone for 7 months.

I thought I'd like living alone but really don't, I miss having the company, friendship... so I'm dreading the dark nights and feel a bit anxious about autumn coming. Luckily I have a beautiful dog but any tips for a sad singleton living alone and struggling, what do folks do? I'm still working from home snd am living very rural so don't tend to see many real people during the day. I also have a limited social circle but have started accepting any invitation anywhere to get out and about. Help!

I think you need to try and force yourself out a bit, even when it is dark and cold and passing it down. Exercise class, book club (start one if there isn’t one!), crochet/knitting group, WI or similar, volunteering, get involved on a committee for something, choir, swimming, take yourself out for dinner. I think the more you do, the more people you meet and it broadens your opportunities for meeting for a coffee etc and that can lead to friendships. I actually think living rurally can be quite good for these types of activities because certainly where I used to live there wasn’t a huge amount going on so people appreciated an evening class or whatever and made the effort to turn up. There was always a surprisingly varied schedule of activities at the 3 village halls closest to me!

If you’re looking for things to do inside the house you could learn to cook some new dishes, do a course, learn to knit/crochet and do something like Woolly Hugs or Octopus for a Preemie, read a series of books, exercise with online videos, set yourself some challenges. Good luck, you’ll get there

Hey I understand. Do you have any close friends you could start a regular meet up with, say straight after work one night so you have something to look forward to
Straight after work stops people getting home and then not being bothered to go out again as its dark.

What about a second job a couple of nights a week if any locally. Coming up to Christmas, places are more likely to look for temp staff.

What about joining a group that meet regularly or a keep fit class. If you were out 2 or 3 nights a week you might enjoy being at home more.

Make some nice meals that you can freeze for nights you are out.
Plan some long walks with your dog.

Make yourself leave the house at least once a day, not just to walk the dog (although obviously do that too!) but to meet other humans. Even a trip to the supermarket gives you interaction if you don't go through the self serve tills.

Do you speak with colleagues/friends over WhatsApp, messenger etc?

You are meant to be 41 and your Mum thinks you need to settle down. I know its still the school holidays but really.

When I was single I made sure that the dark evenings always had something to them as in
Tennis one night
Walk another night with friend
Go out maybe 2 nights
Then the other 2-3 I would basically have as cost nights. I’d light candles and catch up on tv.

I think the key to enjoying your nights in are making sure you don’t have a full week of them. We all need company

Wrong thread. Sorry.

OP -

The trees are about to show you just how beautiful letting go can be. ❤️🍁🍂🍃

Xxx

@BadgertheBodger @Livandme @EvenMoreFuriousVexation @merrygoround88 thank you so much, some really great ideas and tips.

@Viviennemary haha I did wonder...

@Thebiggerthecoffeethebetter

OP -

The trees are about to show you just how beautiful letting go can be. ❤️🍁🍂🍃

Xxx

Ah @Thebiggerthecoffeethebetter that's utterly beautiful. Thank you ❤xxx

I felt the same last year especially with looming lockdowns but I really enjoyed the time. It was a real surprise to me because I was really in a panic Sep 2020.

Like another poster suggested, have something planned every evening. It can be tiny like Friday = takeaway or a movie night on Wednesday. Don’t forget to reach out to friends & invite them over. I got into cooking last year with some recipe boxes & did some Zoom workshops like wreath making & cocktail making.

You’ll be fine and hell… you can have the heating on whatever setting you like! No compromise! :)

When you go out, leave a radio on. That way you come home to some low level noise and not a silent house

OP, come on over to this thread 🙂
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4317974-Ideas-to-make-the-coming-autumn-lovelier-or-at-least-a-little-more-bearable

Definitely try and think of the positives….get a list of box sets. Make your sitting room warm and cosy, nice candles, etc. Good books.

@FloGiven

I felt the same last year especially with looming lockdowns but I really enjoyed the time. It was a real surprise to me because I was really in a panic Sep 2020.

Like another poster suggested, have something planned every evening. It can be tiny like Friday = takeaway or a movie night on Wednesday. Don’t forget to reach out to friends & invite them over. I got into cooking last year with some recipe boxes & did some Zoom workshops like wreath making & cocktail making.

You’ll be fine and hell… you can have the heating on whatever setting you like! No compromise! :)

Thank you ❤

@CovidCorvid

Definitely try and think of the positives….get a list of box sets. Make your sitting room warm and cosy, nice candles, etc. Good books.

Yes, I will do, thanks for those ideas

@LadyLolaRuben

When you go out, leave a radio on. That way you come home to some low level noise and not a silent house

Ah I always leave the radio on for Mr Dog, plus a lamp. Definitely makes coming home feel cosier

When my Mum and Dad split up after a long marriage my Mum started doing B&B to enable to to keep the house but actually she really liked the company. She ended up having long term lodgers who were all interesting and really enriched her life.

If no demand for lodging in your area you could consider taking in a refugee. If that doesn't sound to scary....

I'm currently renting a one bedroom place in a very rural location so not practical. Lovely idea though ❤