Husband is clingy with toddler & it's driving me mad!

[JC2021]

Cut a long story short, husband loves attention of any kind, he is very tactile and wants hugs kisses often (not from as much anymore mind you) but from our son.. often hugging him or saying "give daddy a kiss" and will bend down in his face - he is generally in his face wanting hugs and kisses. I can see my son often just wants to move past, or get him away, sometimes telling him out loud..

Why on earth is he like this? Needy with his own son! Seems odd to me and I've often made comments like leave him be but he gets touchy about it..

Me and my son are very close and I often sense jealousy.. ridiculous but I do

Any one experienced this or similar?

And if it really drives you crazy... imagine how your son feels.

It might be time to tell your DH that if he keeps doing this it will harm their relationship and DS will start to shrink away from his touch if he feels like it isn't something he's able to willingly accept or decline. Ask him how he'd feel if you were constantly getting in his face while he was engrossed in something asking for kisses and hugs all the time even if he said no, or tried to move past you. Would he still want that contact?

This would drive me crazy too. I’ve seen it with grandparents before but not so much with parents. Very odd behaviour and it will be damaging for your son.

Do you think DH is totally unaware of how annoying he’s being, or is he aware but doesn’t care? did he behave the same way with you when dating?

@PepsiHoover

I don't think anyone should be encouraging a child to kiss them if the child clearly doesn't want them to. Body autonomy, consent and all that.

Agree. My son is nearly 2 and I say can mummy have a hug and sometimes he will come to me but other times he will grin and push my hand away to say no. I admit sometimes I do pick him up for a cuddle and kiss as I just want to but when he squirms I put him down. It should be on his terms.

I think the crux of it is that your DH is a touchy feely person, and because he understandably gets less of that from you being busy with DS, he's looking to DS to fill his need. Perhaps he needs to think about why he needs constant physical reassurance generally in life. It's likely to do with his upbringing.

I don't think anyone should be encouraging a child to kiss them if the child clearly doesn't want them to. Body autonomy, consent and all that

I agree with this.

I'm a first time dad (a good one) to a 21 month old.

I'll say can dad have a kiss? Before bed or when I get in from work and normally get one but it's up to him.

I wouldn't be in his face all the time asking for kisses as lovely as they are. That'd just be a bit odd.