Help ending a friendship

[CouldBeAutumn]

Does anyone have any advice on what to say when you no longer want to continue a friendship? How to decline meeting up assertively but not unkindly?

I consider the friendship over after the "friend" massively crossed a boundary and then went deny, attack, reverse victim and offender when I tried to explain how I felt. So I don't want to get drawn into any further discussion with her about what happened, it wouldn't be productive.

I still have to see her every day on the school run so I don't want any awkwardness or more unpleasantness. Our DC are in the same class.

Thank you.

Can you say something along the lines of ‘in light of our recent disagreement, i don’t feel this friendship will work for me going forward, I wish you all the best’. There’s not much more you can say tbh and there’s nothing you can do about her reaction to this. Things may still be awkward if she takes it as a massive rejection. Good luck OP

Could you not just make excuses about meeting up so often she stops asking you?

Just stop contacting her.

@carleyemma91

Could you not just make excuses about meeting up so often she stops asking you?

And say very little when you have to stand togehr at the schol gates just be polite and add nothing to the convo. Unless the other person is thicker than shit, they should get the message.

If the other woman asks what the matter with you, just say EG 'nothing really have a lot on my plate, can't say. sorry'

Just distance yourself, as a previous poster said if she asks what’s wrong
, you can always say something along the lines of busy and distracted etc ... I sympathise OP this is easier said than done

I think a slow fade out would be kinder in this scenario. I've done this, as we still have to see each other at work. We still pass the time of day but now have distance.

Thank you. It's helpful and reassuring to read these responses.

I have stopped contacting her. I have no desire to have anything to do with her. I will make myself very boring and neutral if she tries to engage.

Well done, OP. That is the way to go and she may insist on asking you why you are not talking, so just stick to your story and be boring and say you have a lot on your plate and you both will move on. But do say hi out of courtesy when you see this woman

OP, you said your children are in the same class - Are they likely to want playdates with each other? Something to consider. What will you tell your child(ren) if you don’t want to deal with this.

I’d either try and derail by mentioning another friend or say that adults fall out just like they do.

If you don't want to be friends with someone then don't. At school say hello if you can bring yourself to or avoid and ignore if you'd prefer.