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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dinner Dispute cont…

5 replies

JLA19801 · 30/08/2021 16:47

I posted on here a few days ago under the thread ‘dinner dispute’. I wasn’t able to reply to all the helpful and supportive comments from you all as my account was playing up and I’ve now set up a second account.

I just wanted to say thank you. As I mentioned in my original post, the issue over dinner is the tip of a very large issues iceberg, and I’ve been putting up with a lot over the years.

I think I’ve known for a long time that the man I am with is not right for me. I changed a lot about me to suit what he wanted me to be and have regretted it since. But having 3 kids I’ve stuck with it because they love their father and for their sake it was worth putting up with so much. The problem with that is that over the years my confidence has taken a knock and I have doubted whether what I’m feeling is reasonable or whether I’m fact I’m just being ridiculous.

I’ve finally called an end to what little of a relationship we had left and have been villainised for it since with my OH going so far to say I’ve treated him as a meal ticket, even though it was his insistence that a good mother should be at home with the kids which caused me to halt my career and not try to juggle both a job and motherhood.

I’m sure there will be tough times ahead, but I’m thankful for the support I had from this community which finally knocked some sense into me that I was not being stupid, that I can’t continue as I had been and something had to give.

So thank you, and no doubt I’ll be looking for more advice in the future xx

OP posts:
Bbub · 30/08/2021 17:02

I'm sure you will never regret calling an end to it, I read your original thread and your situation seemed heartbreaking.

My ex husband called me every name under the sun, including a lazy gold digger (😂 I wish), because I stayed home while our child was a baby. Prepare for the attacks to continue, but it's a small price to pay for your freedom Flowers all the best OP

layladomino · 30/08/2021 20:30

You've done the right thing and it will get easier with time. No matter how awkward or unreasonable he is, it is worth your freedom. If you had stayed, he would have got worse over time and leaving would have been even harder. Well done.

wewereliars · 30/08/2021 20:39

Enjoy your new life OP, well done Flowers

Emma2021 · 30/08/2021 21:03

Well done.

notapizzaeater · 30/08/2021 21:51

He's just lashing out. Things will get much better

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