We're actually doing it

[Imsoluckyluckylucky]

Girls it's finally happening! At the age of 35 I'm getting married!! Never thought this would happen. Its all been a bit of a whirlwind, I came back home after living abroad for years in an abusive relationship, met someone the year above me at school and 8ish month later were actually going to do it, first time for either of us. We're going to have a quick registry office job in November, but it's November and I need a dress. I'm around a 20/22 and I need ideas of what to wear, I'd rather have something a bit more casual then a full blow gown, maybe something along the long of a toga style or bridesmaide style. Help! Please share your suggestions of where to look

I'd love to say congratulations op!

...but isn't 8 months a bit quick? Especially after a history of abusive relationships. Are you sure there hasn't been 'love bombing' going on here? I don't want to dampen your joy but please be careful.

It's very common to move from on abuser onto another who 'seems nothing like' the last..in the early days at least.

Cant you have a longer engagement? What's the rush? I'd take pause op and enjoy it as a nice relationship for a while. Then you'll have longer to plan your dream wedding too.

Also, come November the covid numbers will be up again. There might be wedding cancelled op. Youd be wiser to plan for next spring or summer.

I don't have any recommendations sorry! But I wanted to say congratulations @Imsoluckyluckylucky

Oh wow congratulations. I hope you have a perfect day. I will ask around for recommendations.

Something like this op? www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/dolly-delicious-spot-midi-dress/mu528/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=5014

Congratulations!
Next have a range of lovely wedding dresses for very reasonable prices!

Congratulations!

What sort of budget are you thinking? This is sort of toga style

www.ever-pretty.co.uk/products/plus-size-ruffles-sleeves-evening-dress-ezp7709?variant=41071575793851&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-bedud_Y8gIVl4BQBh3f6QulEAQYCSABEgLAKfD_BwE

I'm afraid I'm another who's wanting a bit of caution! I'm sure he's lovely but there's no need to rush. You haven't been together for a year, yet. You're just out of an abusive relationship and tbh that sort of thing doesn't help you make the best decisions.

I'm really glad you are enjoying your time with this man but I'd recommend holding back a little. Maybe when you're at the two year mark you could rethink marriage?

I’m going to recommend a dress AND also suggest that you plan your special day for next summer or autumn instead.

www.bombshellhq.com/collections/mother-of-the-bride-dresses/products/edge-of-the-shoulder-midi-bombshell-dress-in-gold?variant=32578534146128 for a summer wedding.

www.bombshellhq.com/collections/dresses/products/gold-sequin-bombshell-the-ultimate-evening-gown?variant=32578367782992
For a winter wedding.

I’m sorry to say this but It’s easy to go from one type of abuser to another and not recognise it because he’s so different from the last guy.

I'd wear trousers, a top, and a gorgeous long floaty top in silk etc. With some kind of hat/head=dress as its your wedding.

Did this for son's wedding and have worn that fab silk extravagant (oops) top to many other less formal occasions, parties, dinner out with DH etc.

First of all- congratulations!

Secondly (and more importantly!)- what’s the rush?!?! You’re both filled with all the “feel good” chemicals that we get when we’re excited and getting to know someone. This is not a basis to decide the path of the rest of your life! Please read other threads- HUNDREDS of MNetters on here who married men that turned out to be NOTHING alike they thought.

THE FASTER YOU MOVE- THE BIGGER YOU CRASH AND BURN.

Did you mean to post in Relationships OP? If you’re wanting dress suggestions Style & Beauty would be better. In this forum you’re going to get a lot of comments on your relationship as well as any fashion advice!!

Sorry but I agree that 8 months seems way too soon to have decided to marry. A "whirlwind" is great fun but should die down a bit before you make any life changing decisions.

Might actually be a good test to see that he is a decent person if you can say 'I feel we may be rushing things a bit so I think we should hold off on the wedding a little longer, perhaps sometime mid next year or onwards' and he takes it well. Where as if he takes a huff or tries to push you to change your mind back or rush things at any point in future again, you'll know something isn't right.

Going to be honest op..I don't think that in this day and age, any normal man would be pushing for a wedding so fast. It seems odd. I mean maybe it was just one of those 'fuck it, itll be a lark' moments and you have both decided to just run with it. But op, I'd put on the breaks for a bit. A woman should never take any chances. You just got free of the last abuser afterall.

Id get this moved to style and beauty if you want to avoid all the unsolicited advice