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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I overreacting?

3 replies

Gem176 · 29/08/2021 23:10

I'm not sure I've ever been this angry but I'm also pregnant so could just be the hormones!

C section is booked for Tuesday, live quite far from hospital so down for pre op tomorrow and staying over as no point travelling back and forth so today was our last day at home before baby arrives.

I had planned to go out for lunch with OH and DD7 then home to do some last minute bits and bobs. I'll be in hospital for 2/3 days and DD will be staying with SIL so it was also a chance to spend some nice time together as a 3 and reassure DD a little as she's a bit apprehensive.

Yesterday OH said to book table for 2pm which suited me as I had a few indoor jobs I wanted him to give a hand with that are now getting a bit hard going for me.

This morning he gets up proceeds to cut the grass, fanny about with a chainsaw then plonked his arse on the sofa to watch the football. He's shouted at DD twice for rather minor things (walking on front steps he had power washed that he planned to paint and playing on her swing after he asked her to tidy up some toys). We live 10 mins from the restaurant, so half an hour before our booking he had made no move to shower or change so I asked (probably quite snippily) if I should just cancel our table as there was no way we were making it in time now. His answer was to tell me to just go with DD on my own. I saw red, didn't say a word and left with DD.

DD and I had lunch, went to the park and did some shopping. We were out for around 3 hours, much longer than I had planned for lunch but I was in a right fuck you mood and didn't want to see his face! Got home and he sarcastically asked if we enjoyed lunch, that was my final straw. Took DDs things to SIL and ended up having a good natter over a few cups of tea. Got home and OH wasn't here.

He's not long arrived home, hasn't said a word and now I'm beyond angry. None of the jobs I needed to get done are done. Im knackered and just a bit overwhelmed now. I don't want to be starting recovering from a c section on the back foot but today has just gone completely tits up because he wants to be a grumpy, selfish, arse! I don't even want him with me at the hospital tomorrow.

Am I over reacting or does he need to at least acknowledge he has been a bit of a prick here.

Oh and while I was out he painted the front steps.... bottom of the list of jobs that need doing to be perfectly honest!

OP posts:
LawnFever · 29/08/2021 23:13

Hmm, I can see why you were irritated with him faffing about but instead of threatening to cancel the booking you could’ve said are you going to get ready quickly we need to leave pretty soon as the tables booked for 2pm.

Gem176 · 29/08/2021 23:18

@LawnFever possibly but he'd already said about not going out to lunch because DD hadn't listened to him when asked to pick up her toys. If he had any intention of going he would have got his arse in gear much sooner. He hates being late, he had no intention of going.

OP posts:
Chamomileteaplease · 30/08/2021 11:40

He sounds a nasty piece of work to be so horrible to his three year old two days before a new baby is coming! To blame her for not going out for lunch because she didn;t pick up her toys Sad. Nasty.

But you do seem to cope with disagreements by keeping quiet and not saying what you need to say ie questioning or challenging. Passive aggression rarely helps.

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