Decade older

[Ihaveabirdsnest]

Were you ever/ are you currently in a relationship with a man who is a decade older than you? Would you recommend it? Does the age difference impact your relationship?

How old are you? That's a huge factor in the likely outcome / potential issues.

I had a relationship with an almost decade older man in my mid 30s and it could be coincidental but he turned out to be the most controlling, jealous, chauvinist, possessive man I've ever tried to have a relationship with.

I do think he thought, being younger, he might be able to brainwash me/influence me into his relationship "style". That perhaps I might be more pliable.

There was also a half generation gap that I noticed, in terms of music, zeitgeist, knowledge etc.

I'm 9 years older than my partner. We are both male. At first I questioned if it could ever be genuine based on the age difference and places in life. However it's the best relationship I've ever had and we plan to marry after 4 years of being together.

Sometimes you might just be beyond your years mentally and won't find the right person unless they are older. Don't get my wrong for example some 28 year olds act 16. Whilst others act 40. Same applies to all ages.

The relationship obviously floundered, but I also occurred to me (as a mid 30s woman thinking about children) that him being 10 ten years older was quite far from ideal, since two sets of aging genetic material could make things harder; fertility clinics, to my knowledge, don't take donor eggs off women over 35, sometimes even 30 or donor sperm off men over 39. That's not to say lots and lots of people over those ages don't have kids no problem; bit those are the ages they've identified as passing optimum so if you're not super young, a decade older man is unlikely to help fertility issues.

Obviously I don't know your situation here bit just thought i'd mention it.

I've been with my fiancé 5 years, getting married in a few months with 2 gorgeous children. He's 9 years older (Nearly a decade) and the age thing never really comes up, I'm mid 20's and he's mid 30's. Doesn't feel like a big age gap to me or him xx

DH is 11 years older than me. We have been together 38 years and I consider myself very lucky. Age gap has had no impact on our relationship.

Just came out of a relationship with someone 12 years older. 42 and 54. Never again. He was fun and young at heart but, his beliefs and views were so old school and he was so set in his ways it was impossible

My partner of 15 years is 19 years older than me I'm 38 and he is my rock,the only 'thing' is lack of sex now but there's more to a relationship than sex (I keep telling myself) I do worry about death though but I'm the one with heart conditions etc he has nothing!!

being older by a decade has less impact when you are younger but the older you get you note the difference.

A family friend of ours met and married a a man when she was mid 20's and him mid 30's. Now she is 62 and in her prime for going out etc are early retired and he at 62 is on his last legs as to say as generally men grow older quicker than most women and are generally less able than women of the same age.

I'm 10 years older than my exh. Age wasn't a factor in our split. My exDP was 15 years older than me. Age also not a factor in the split.

No, but I think a decade is just about ok.

There are various factors to keep in mind, such as the possibility that your boyfriend might always go for someone significantly younger than him which to me is a liability. It means that one day you will be too old or wrinkly for his liking and he might leave you for someone younger still. He might be the type who sees lack of experience attractive (because he wants to be the dominant one)...but as the woman gets older, she wises up and that's not always desirable to a man lie that.

I think this is more likely in men who are 15+ years older than their partner, but it's just something to keep in mind.

The main issue for you might be simple ageing. You could be a fit and healthy 40 year old with a 50 year old husband who seem much older for his age because not everyone ages well. Great for him, but not so great for you.

My exdh was 9 years older than me and he was controlling and abusing towards the end of our 14 year marriage.
My boyfriend after him was 15 years old and that relationship lasted less than 2 years. He was a nightmare and so stuck in his ways, he would change for nothing and it made the relationship impossible.