Falling into depression after break up

[ston]

I have made a few threads about my break up but feel I need more help.

My boyfriend of 5 years (24m) broke up with me (24f) about a month ago now. I do not feel any better.

I feel like I am actually getting worse as the more time that goes on, the more that I know we’re not getting back together and that he will have someone else.

He is liking a lot of girls pictures on Instagram, and following a lot of new ones. He is very sociable and out all the time. Fridays and Saturdays are a struggle as I know he is out at nightclubs and up until 6am. He also just got his own house and all his flatmates are single, and bring girls back all the time. I woke up at 4am this morning literally sweating. My mind won’t stop imagining things. He said to me he doesn’t have any intention of getting with anyone but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen. I don’t exactly think he wants a girlfriend but he will want something.

I am living in my parents house still, do go out occasionally with my friends but a lot of them are coupled up now and want houses with their boyfriends. I feel like a loser in comparison to him. I want the life he has.

I am finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning, or get the energy to do most things. What can I do please??

Also one last thing: I accidentally drunk text him last week and he was on about taking me for dinner in a few weeks and then getting a hotel together?!!? What is all this about. Does he genuinely miss me, it’s confusing. I feel I may turn up and then he will leave me in the hotel alone instead.

Btw, about finding it hard to get out of bed, understandable but if you keep that up, those that like you may give up on you.
Get up, have a cuppa, watch tv, wash, dress, go to work, run etc, and even a walk in the park etc, excercise, buy some new clothes, and if you want, reinvent yourself ie, give yourself an extra edge.

As i said, you are not alone and please help yourself as there are millions of blokes out there ready to cheat on their OH just as many women IMO. So, never forget that you can only gurantee what you will do and not do and take it from there and don't move too quickly into another BF and don't give this loser the time of the day.

Btw, drink makes you feel better but the next day makes you feel like a shit so in moderation pelase.

Take care and you have your parents to support you so you are lucky as many children come from broken homes etc.

OP it never was you ex's job to make you happy. You need to realise this going forward.

If you want his life, start one thing at a time. You need some money to move out of your parent's into a flat share so start with your job/career, you are 24 at the beginning of your working life. Get work and a salary you want then another will never be able to take that from you.

Save for some girlie holidays, exercise to get a new wardrobe. And stop thinking you know what ex is doing. You don't know, it's only torture for you. And there is fuck all you can do about it he's not your possession.

Don't look back you are going forward.

Delete his numbers, block his media.

Start to heal and have a great life.

@Emma2021 I understand, I feel like I have pushed a way a few of my friends as when I’ve been with them I’ve been so down in the dumps.

I’m going to have to get help from the doctors.

@frozendaisy I definitely know that now. I really did not care about anything but him. That’s why I neglected a lot of parts of my life, and that’s why I feel like he had everything and I don’t.

It’s just shit.

[quote ston]@frozendaisy I definitely know that now. I really did not care about anything but him. That’s why I neglected a lot of parts of my life, and that’s why I feel like he had everything and I don’t.

It’s just shit.[/quote]
So look at it as he was the relationship to teach you never to lose your independent self again.

Sometimes people enter our lives for a bit just to teach us something along the way.

You are 24, celebrate you haven't learnt this lesson at 44.

So fly now, pick yourself up off the floor, slowly if necessary, and start building the life you want.

@leavesthataregreen has the perfect advice.

It hurts. It really really does. I pined for my ex husband for a good while. I was so betrayed and traumatised. We'd been together so long so there was a trauma bond too.

I made a list of every rotten thing he did and all his bad habits and anytime I would start to think about him and I would take out the list and read it as many times as it took. It helped bring me back to the reality and knock him off the pedestal I had put him on.

You have mentioned his life is better.
How your life is, is entirely up to you. You're the only one who can make it better.

@RantyAunty I’m going to try make it better. Some people are just given a good life on a plate.

How long did it take for you to get over your ex husband? I will try make that list.