should I reach out?

[plshelpme101]

Hi,

So a few months ago I had a thing with someone, we got along really well, had so many romantic moments, but there was something I felt missing,I'm not quite sure what, I think because I usually feel a way when I start something new romantically but it was different with him, maybe it was a good thing.After awhile he wanted a relationship and I didn't (I have never been in one and I am scared to commit and be vulnerable) so I broke it off. but now after a few months I cant stop thinking about him, I felt very safe and comfortable with him, we got along really good so now I'm thinking about reaching out. (we haven't talked since or seen each other anywhere) I'm unsure if this is the right thing to do, I'm unsure how to go about it.

Message him. Be honest. Say that you've regretted breaking things off and that while you understand he might not want to risk his feelings again, you'd really love to get together again.

There's nothing to lose at all. Always be honest. It's better that way.

Only if you’re one of the Four Tops.

Look closely and honestly at your reasons first. Would you genuinely consider a relationship with him? Thats not to say that sending a text obliges you but you might really get his hopes up only to decide something was missing after all. Or, could it be that you're missing the company and security?

If you really think you got it wrong and would like to give things a go, then yes do get in touch. Be prepared in case he has moved on or doesn't respond/ turns you down but if he liked you and you think things could be good, why not? Nothing terrible happened, you dated, called it off, have reconsidered.

Don't just send a 'hi how are you' though and hope for the best, be up front about why you're getting in touch.

@BittaOrange

Only if you’re one of the Four Tops.

🤣

Don't waste his time, it didn't work and he has probably moved on.

So looking back it appears that you may be over thought it which caused a defensive reaction to say you didn't want to be with him. The question is you said unlike others you just didn't have that pull or feeling to want to be with him.

You need to ask was this because you were protecting yourself or because you genuinely just didn't feel attracted towards him.

You could try as someone else said be really honest about things. However you should note that he is likely to be defensive himself and have his guard up. You didn't want him then so why do you want him now.

You should only reach out to him once you've established if it was a defensive response or are you doing it because perhaps you aren't getting as much attention right now and doing it for the wrong reasons to feel wanted.

I wish you good luck and hope it goes well for you.