DH and I have been together almost 15 years. Married 8 years. We have two children (5 & 3).
Our marriage is just a mess and I don't know what to do. It's got particularly bad since our DC2 came along.
We are so distant. We are both constantly bickering and annoyed with each other. There is little to no real closeness and no sex. DH has his faults and so do I. I don't think one of us is particularly more to blame than the other (although DH may feel differently). We talk about it - about being nicer to each other, letting the small stuff go, being a team, etc. but then just almost immediately fall back into old habits. We are not totally miserable, we can and do still have a laugh together. We spend quality time together as a family etc. But it's all interlaced with an undercurrent of resentment and unhappiness. I am lying in bed now, rather than go downstairs and spend time with him, because I am just so tired of it all.
I don't know what to do, or if there is a way back from any of this really. I don't want to end the marriage, but I don't want to live like this anymore. I keep hoping things will magically start to improve as the DC grow and get easier, we get a bit more time back, etc but actually the 5 year old seems to be getting more and more challenging rather than easier, so I think that might be a false hope.