I had a very quick marriage to someone who I thought loved me very much. A complete whirlwind romance. It turns out he gets angry very often at me for things I do or say that annoys him. Things like this afternoon he's moaned about some metal thing in a kitchen drawer. I am 99.99% sure it was his and he moved in with it. I said this to him and he said it's not his, I said are you sure (he has got awful memory) and he said that I haven't learnt from any other time when I tell him he's wrong and he's not and it's going to go sideways. I left the kitchen and went back to the living room. He then came in the living room and started again. He says absolutely horrible things to me when he's angry with me. He threatened to move out again and said the only reason he didn't move out a couple of weeks ago is because I was upset about it (that isn't true, I was upset, I wanted us to split up and the only reason I stayed with him is because at the 9th hour he apologised and said we would get counselling- which is now booked for the 7th).
He's flicked me before in an argument but said that I was too sensitive when I told him that was abusive. He says my moods dictate his mood and that I make him feel like he is on eggshells. Apparently he's rang citizens advice about his housing situation and they think I'm emotionally abusive because everything is about my feelings. But he does things that upset me, that make me feel rejected and whether I don't say anything and just crack on with what I'm doing or if I say what you've just said has upset me, he gets angry whatever. I feel like he can say or do whatever he wants to do but if it upsets me then he turns it round to say I'm the problem.
My friends and family say I'm being emotionally abused by him and that he's broken me. But am I actually the one making him do this? I know everyone will say no I'm not, but am I actually in the wrong by feeling hurt all the bloody time. I constantly feel rejected by him and it shows in my face. A good example of this is that we were supposed to go out Thursday but he worked late, I wasn't upset about him working late but I was a bit disappointed that he didn't say we'll do it on our next free evening. I told him this and he shouted at me that I should have assumed that was what would happen, that I'm childish and my moods shouldn't take over the night (they didn't, I still cooked his dinner, cleaned the bin and chatted to him, I was just disappointed).
He just doesn't get me. All I want is to love him and be loved by him. I thought he was my one but the things he says to me are horrible. I want to end it, even if it's me that is the problem I'm really not happy and want to be free of the constant feeling of feeling unloved and the arguments. I am a big ball of resentment towards him now and I am hyper sensitive to how he is with me and expecting the negative. This annoys him a lot! But I can't change it, he's said and done so much I just don't trust that he has my best interest at heart. He's saying that I expect him to bow down to me and he's been making loads of effort the last couple of weeks and I've made none. That's not true, we argued Monday, Wednesday and Thursday! How can I make an effort when he starts demanding I do things and when I say no he shouts.
I was very lucky to get a very nice HA flat due to being a care leaver a couple of decades ago. I won't sign my tenancy over to a joint tenancy with him. He throws this in my face a lot. Apparently because we're married I can't kick him out until after our divorce is finalised. We haven't even been married a year! He also has so much stuff in my flat that I can't just bag up his stuff and he won't agree to stay with his nan or friends while he finds somewhere. But each time I agree to him staying while he finds somewhere we end up giving it another go. I feel utterly fed up of it all. Even if my moods and being annoying creates the arguing and him losing his temper it's obviously something I'm not able to stop so I don't get why he wants to keep trying anyway!
He told me to take my wedding ring off this afternoon and if I did that he would leave. I took it off and now he's cooking dinner!