Attracted to others while in relationship

[randomgirl23]

I'm in a relationship of 3 years and we're currently living together. This is my first ever partner and the only person i've ever slept with. Lately i've been feeling attracted to others, although nothing is wrong with my relationship. Am I loosing interest in him? I'm quite young so I've never had the opportunity to explore with others before I met him, which I now kind of regret. However I'm not sure I want to jeopardize the relationship I have, cause I really love him and see a future with him but I also can't stop thinking about what life could've been. Ahhhh, what do I do??

It's normal to feel attraction to people other than your partner. There are a lot of attractive people in the world, and you aren't dead. Feeling restless in your relationship is something else altogether. If you love him and are happy, I'd be wary of jeapordising that for greener grass. That said, if you're young, maybe you just aren't ready to settle down yet. Only you know.

I personally think it's not sensible these days to settle down with your first (young) love. There's plenty of time for domesticity when you are older and want children.

Feeling attracted is fine, it happens to us all

Acting on it is not fine. As long as you’re just thinking “oh he’s nice” and not doing anything else I wouldn’t worry

That's the thing, I never would, but I find myself wanting to. And that's what I don't get, why would I want something like that when I'm in a perfectly healthy relationship??

Yes, two different issues.

Three years is long enough to ask and answer the qs, if this were it, would it be enough? If the answer to that is no, split and do something different with your life.

However chemistry with people is going to happen all your life, both you and your partner. The qs is, will you act on it? FWIW chemistry usually fades and the situation reveals its feet of clay, and you look back and think, nah I dont like him as much as I thought it did at first.

Take each issue separately xxx and be brave and build an exciting fulfilling life.

Might be nice to play the field a bit then? Go out with some of the men you're attracted to?

I'd like to, but I'm not sure I'm willing to give up my relationship for it. I've thought about proposing an open relationship for a shorter period of time but I'm not sure that would be very appreciative...

Perhaps, and I may get flamed for this, but monogamy isn't for everyone. It's been fed to us, as an ideal. There is nothing wrong with ethical nonmonogamy.

If it's something you feel strongly about wanting the persue other people then speak to your partner and see if that is something they'd be open too. But the risk comes with accepting if they say no.

Then you have to decide if you want to stay as it is or leave.

Good luck

you have to choose whether to build a future with him and put playing the field to one side, or leave him and go about your business, can't have both. If you choose the latter don't go trying to get back with him afterwards, he probably wouldn't appreciate it.

@LittleBiscuit09 If by ‘ethical non monogamy’ you mean an open relationship where both parties are aware of and consent to sex with other people, then I can’t see why you’d get flamed. As long as everyone in any relationship is aware of this and agrees to it, I can’t see a problem.
Monogamy isn’t for everyone, I agree.
OP if the rules of your relationship are that it is a monogamous relationship, pursuing sex with others is betrayal and will hurt everyone involved, including you. You won’t feel good about yourself, however great the sex with other people is, if you have to lie to your partner to do it.
You are young, haven’t had any other partner, you need to decide whether you can stay faithful to your partner if tempted by others or if at your age it’s wiser and kinder to let them go and satisfy your curiosity. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s honest and truthful.
Everyone gets tempted, you’re not going to go through life not finding others attractive. If you can stay loyal to your partner despite this then all well and good.
If you want to explore sex with others, then be honest and tell your partner. Whatever you do, don’t cheat. You’ll lose your partner, his respect and your own self-respect in the process.
If you currently feel ambivalent about how committed you are to your partner, then if you’re going to commit to anything, commit to living honestly and openly. You yourself, and everyone you have a relationship with, will love and respect you all the more for it.