Has anyone given their relationship a second chance after a break up and it worked ?

[Lolabray]

I am asking this as it has never worked for me when I went back to an ex. I have recently ended things with my ex but haven’t had a discussion or anything after because we got into a big fight on the phone and i said it was over.

There is an old saying don’t look back you’re not going that way. If this is the case, why do some people get back and make it work?

I think some people are emotionally unhealthy anc break up because it didnt work but then they realise they struggle with being alone and so they get back together with someone unsuitable for them rather than doing the self work that they should have in the first place.

Saying that I once went on a date with an ex because I thought 'oh, I forgot what a handsome fella he was' xD But that one date was enough to remind me he was also an utter dick. He was most surprised (and contemptuous) that I decided against taking him back.

I think sometimes space away also makes us forget the difficult times and put on rose tinted glasses.

Thinking on it, I doubt believe anyone takes the decision to break up with someone lightly. So I think we should always trust that if we decided back then that they were not right for us, then we were probably right.

Tried it once with my first boyfriend, didn't work out. We were together for 3 years, separated but stayed friends for a year, tried the relationship again and it only lasted 3 months

My self and my dp separated during lockdown. We were horribly isolated and both our mental health took a tumble. We both accessed therapy and once both our mental health had improved that we wanted go be together. We made agreements about the changes we wanted to make going forward and now things are better than they ever were. Lockdown was a weird time though and put a strain on a lot of people

@ romdowa totally it has had a massive negative impact on my relationship

A friend was with someone for about 6 years. Split up for about a year, got back together and after a few months set the date. Got married.
Had DC, They've been married over 20 years.
They were very young when they started seeing each other.

People usually break up for a reason, they're not right for each other.

Yes me and my DP split during the first lockdown as I felt he wasn't really interested anymore. Talked everything out after a few weeks, and got back together, and everything has been great since. I think a lot of it was down to work stress and lockdown affecting his mental health, but he's much more open and honest now about he's feeling.

Very, very occasionally, both parties genuinely do some work on themselves while apart and when they come back together, are able to manage whatever it was that split them up in a much more productive way.

But I'd say that about 95-99% of the time it's just misplaced nostalgia, rose-tinted glasses, or a fear of being alone.

A lot of discussion and compromise on both sides! We were together for a few years, broke up, got back together, got engaged about 3 years later, married 2 years after engagement and now been married almost 2 years with 2 DC! Very happy we worked things out, love my life and little family! 🥰

My DP and I were apart for about 2 years, broken up because I wanted children and he didn't.

We now have 2 DC

I think in the short term it s hard to go back to an ex, its likely resentment is simmering and it doesn't take much to bring it to the boil. After a longer period and a lot of water has passed under the bridge, people change and find themselves more amenable towards their exes.