What is the most important thing in a relationship to you?

[Glitterb]

Just as the title thread, to all you in long marriages or relationships what has been the most important thing for you about your partner?
Was it love at first sight?

For reference I am about 3 months post break up from a relationship I thought was the 'real deal' it went downhill gradually and we ended things fairly amicably and have been completely no contact since. Towards the end I didn't even like him as a person anymore he was flakey and could never make his mind up. I've realised this is not what I want or need in a partner long term.

I am 33 and do what to settle down, get married and kids etc

Thank you all for your answers!

I think I am so hung up on ‘love at first sight’ that I forget about what I actually need to make a relationship work long term!

For me its kindness/positivity/generosity and i think all these things are tied up in each other. I dont want a miserable bastard carping at me all day and there are a LOT of men that do this.

The first time i met DP i looked into his eyes and could just feel the kindness beaming out of him and i knew that here was a jolly person who would share things. A complete contrast to the closed, cold, grasping attitude of my ex. (He was only ever wearing a mask of positivity in order to GET something he wanted).