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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Fizzing on behalf of my sister ....

3 replies

DuchessOfDisaster · 26/08/2021 22:23

I spent this evening with one of my older sisters - she's been divorced some time now. She told me about an incident when her son (now 27 and left home) was a toddler. Her ex-husband used to have a night out with his friends on Sundays and often brought one of them back after the pub for more drinks. Whilst my brother-in-law was upstairs in the toilet, the friend put his hand on my sister's leg and tried to kiss her. She told him to get off and he said 'You know you want me to'. She told him she didn't and to get off. She heard my brother in law flush the toilet and come downstairs and made her excuses and went to bed.

Next morning she told her husband and his reaction was one of disbelief. All this is bad enough but the following Sunday, my brother in law brought the same friend back to their house! My sister said she used to make sure she was in bed with a good book early on Sundays to avoid the friend.

I'm absolutely appalled and so angry on her behalf. They're divorced now and I am still on good terms with my ex brother-in-law (he's remarried) for the sake of my nephew. I want to ask him about it but not sure I should.

She said she felt so shocked she couldn't bring it up again, but effectively he's gaslighted her about this and prioritised his sleazy mate (who I learned had a reputation for being a flirt and a show off) over his own wife. I am furious!

OP posts:
thumpingrug · 26/08/2021 22:34

Im not sure what the son, now 27 but was a toddler, has to do with it. Anyhows, sounds like ex and his friend where both wrong un's and she better off out of it.

Hope you manage to calm down.

DuchessOfDisaster · 26/08/2021 22:40

@thumpingrug

Im not sure what the son, now 27 but was a toddler, has to do with it. Anyhows, sounds like ex and his friend where both wrong un's and she better off out of it.

Hope you manage to calm down.

He doesn't. It's simply to illustrate the length of time it's taken her to tell anyone about what happened.

I'm fizzing about the entitlement of men like him, and the fact her husband supported his friend and not his wife. Grrr .........

OP posts:
Jesskir89 · 26/08/2021 22:46

I wouldn't bring it up now op. I know its frustrating but no good can come of it. If you know the 'friend' you could always tell him your thoughts....

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