Worth ending?

[Ivy2006]

So I’ve been with my partner for 2 years. We’ve both got 1 child each from a previous. Our relationship has always been good but we were a lockdown couple so have only recently experienced life outside of our home.

A couple months ago he was acting very suspicious and off with me. He used to blame me and tell me I was acting complacent and our relationship was boring. Long story short, he went on a night out with his friends. I am ashamed to admit it but I had a look at his Apple Watch as I had a gut wrenching feeling. As per my guess, he was messaging multiple women. He added them on social media, asked for their numbers and then quickly deleted them before anyone noticed. The messages were awful. He was sexting women and arranged to meet one after his night out (he didn’t go as she said no). I was heart broken. We decided to have a break and have recently started things back up. However, I’ve found myself starting arguments over nothing and I’m cross with myself for doing it. I feel I resent him and I automatically try push him away but it’s hard because I love him so much. I feel he isn’t sorry for what he did as he refuses to say he ‘cheated’ and strongly believes it was the alcohols fault. He doesn’t let me talk about it and gets angry when I’m down. But maybe it’s fair he gets frustrated as he wants to move on?

I’ve tried to re start my own life and see my friends more often and go on my own night outs but that seems to make it worse. He gets cross when I go out and don’t prioritise spending time with him to make amends. Any advice?!

He does not love you that's for sure. And nor do you love him. You might think you do - but you do not. There will be someone much better out there; and you have your child to consider. Your child needs you to be with a decent man; or to be on your own.

My only advice would be get the hell out of there and dont look back.

Oh just dump him. It's not worth the angst. If it's like this after two years, it'll never get any better. He's bored already.

Sounds awful there's two dc to consider separate its a toxic relationship

Walk away now before you get in any deeper. I’ve been in a similar situation and I don’t think I ever got over it. I held it against him for years and ultimately ended up hating him. It sucked becauee at the point of break up we were in so deep it was so hard.

Jesus, just end it. What is there to love? It’s been two years, just walk away.

‘He gets cross when I go out’…not quoted in entirety, he has not taken responsibility for his actions, and is now trying to control what you do or feel. I don’t know how you could ever trust him again, and I think this could well be at the root of your concerns. Please continue going out, meeting with friends, he’s lost whatever consideration he believes he’s due!

As soon as lockdown was over, he was off chasing other women. He was desperately trying to cheat on you. Alcohol does not make a person chase sex with other people. And he arranged or tried to arrange a hook-up after the night out which only fell through because she didn't want him - I cannot see how that was the alcohol .

You don't have a relationship worth saving. It may have worked during lockdown when he was stuck in, but it doesn't when he has a sniff of freedom.

It most definitely is worth ending. You have to do it because it sounds like he wont.

Thank you everyone for your advice and support. Deep down I knew I had to end things but I wanted to hear it from others who don’t know us and could be honest.

I’ve told him I’m going out with work this evening as our company is up for bankruptcy so we all want to have a good time together and try forget about some of the stress. He is very unhappy as he feels I should be making more effort with him and his son, not friends/work after everything weve been through. He knows how to make me feel bad! I’ve barely been out in 2 years it’s just been a busy month

Use the weekend as a catalyst for bringing this misery to an end. He's cross and bored because your upset about his setting other women? Selfish twat your well rid of him. There's plenty of other people out there who will treat with the respect you deserve.

That's just controlling and trying to isolate you. You don't need to spend every free evening with him and his child to "make an effort".

And "what you've been through" is down to his behaviour Yet you're the one who should be restricted?!

Tell him to get to fuck.

What a horrible relationship.

Have a bit of respect for yourself and your child and dump him. Do not allow your child grow up to think such a relationship is in anyway normal or acceptable. You don't need his permission or approval to go out with friends. You organise your childcare for your child and you just go. He has no right to control you.

You need to end it.
He’s been chasing other women. He’s using you.

My advice is get out.

He sounds controlling, he’s a liar he’s saying the relationship is boring. Will this get any better? Do you want to be with this man and have these problems in five years time ? ( I ask this as my ex husband did the same and it carried on a few years despite him denying it).

Well I started a relationship in lockdown. If he had done what your boyfriend had done, I would finish it instantly. Nothing to consider, no kids together etc. The man is vile, chasing women and then trying to control you. Wtf?