Partner drinking…

[C4SKI]

My partner drinks a bottle of wine every single night, sometimes with a beer or two beforehand and I’m getting really hacked off with it with just 2 weeks till baby 2 comes. He keeps saying he’ll stop but doesn’t and I know a hard stop when the baby is here will result in cold turkey moodiness.

I’m finding it hard to articulate why it’s not good as he thinks “it’s not that much just a couple of glasses” but it’s a lot over a whole week and I think just unnecessary and not a good habit both physically and mentally healthwise. If baby comes earlier and he’s been drinking he says we’ll just have to get a taxi which I think is pathetic. I don’t mind that I can’t drink at the moment so it’s not jealousy it’s more that it’s become excessive and I’m losing respect for him and his weakness.

Would like your opinions please! 🙏🏻

That's a ridiculous amount to drink
How long has he had this problem , and it really is a problem?
My ex couldn't even stop when I was past my due date. He said he was keeping to under the limit but I'm not convinced he always was .
We ended up splitting this year as he just wouldn't / couldn't stop and he even drank on the morning with our baby which I never thought he would do but here we are
If this is a long term problem and not a recent thing which may be easier to reverse then you might have to come to terms with the fact you will be doing this alone. I am so much happier doing this alone

That's like 70 units of alcohol a week just with the wine.

He's well on the way to a serious alcohol problem. What he might be able to get away with physically now, will kick his arse later on in in life.

You are in a relationship with an alcoholic. Only he can decide to address his alcoholism and like many such addicts is in denial of his alcoholism.

Re your own self it is vitally important to get as much support as possible. Where are your family and friends here?.

What is your situation re the finances and property?.
I would strongly suggest you also give this child your surname going forward rather than his. It could well be that you raise this child alone. An alcoholic for a parent will harm your child emotionally as much as you.

He drinks far too much and it bodes very, very badly for your future. He's an alcoholic, and he's the one who has to make the decision to change.

Regardless of what he does, make a solemn promise to your child that you will not raise them in a home with an alcoholic.

You can't put the baby in the bed beside a person who's drunk that much.

Oh

@katieak

Oh

I'm so sorry please ignore this - I was reading the thread and then butt posted and not sure how to remove

How long has he been drinking like this?

I'd make arrangements to move out before you give birth, or make him leave. Because trust me, you're going to need help and support with a newborn - not an alcoholic that isn't safe to be around them.

You need to open your eyes here, he can't stop no matter how much he may want to. You cannot rely on this man. And neither can your baby.

I'm fairly relaxed about drinking and probably a problem drinker by mumsnet standards but this is not ok when you're having a baby.

You wont be able to trust him to do anything with the baby. Even if he doesnt seem 'drunk- that amount of alcohol will affect him. He cant give the baby a cuddle on the sofa in case he falls asleep. Same for the bed. He cant drive the baby. He wont wake up when the baby cries. You will have it twice as hard, as you wont feel like he is supporting you mentally or physically, as he will either be under the influence of alcohol or suffering from withdrawal of alcohol. And you wont ever be able to switch off as you know he other parent wont be safe with the baby. So at this point, you may as well be single. Honestly I think its easier and safer if you plan to do this without him and get yourself some alternative support

Get rid of him. The last thing your child needs is an alcoholic for a parent.