Hi all,
So I started a new job in March after losing my first at the start of COVID. Everyone is super lovely and I'm enjoying my time there. There is one guy in particular who I've grown closer to than the rest because he travels the same way I do on the way home, only for a few stops but we have to walk to the station together, which is about a 10-minute journey.
He is 10 years older than me and in a senior position in a different department but he's definitely someone I would be friends with outside of work as we share a lot of the same interests, have the same style of humor and up until now, I had thought our "friendship" was mutual.
However, as of recently, I've picked up on things that I may have been naive to before. During our conversations, he is very flirty but in a subtle way, if you know what I mean, almost so it's like he's not flirting, but it is. He is very complimentary, not on my appearance but on my personality, work, how I carry myself, etc. I also catch him staring at me a hell of a lot during work (i pretend I can't see him) OR he will purposely walk by my desk looking at me, in hopes that I will catch his eye (again I pretend I haven't noticed).
There is a communal water dispenser in our office which is positioned sort of close to where I'm sat and ill often catch him lingering around the water cooler, which I have to pass by and engage in conversation. Obviously, I don't mind being his friend, it's nice to have a friend at work but I just don't feel it's not that much anymore and the energy feels off.
The other day on our journey home, I was quite obviously in a bit of a bad mood as he picked up on it and asked me if he could take me for a drink to cheer me up. I very quickly said no and tried to change the subject asking him what he'll do with the rest of his evening. He genuinely looked disappointed and then cracked a joke "well since my kind gesture was rejected, I'm not so sure anymore" so I just said "well I'm sure we can arrange something for the whole team to go out soon" Nothing else was said and I again I was left feeling uncomfortable.
As I said, perhaps I had been slightly naive to what was going on. I am not attracted to him at all and I am also not looking for anything further, especially NOT with someone that I work with. That is just a massive no-no for me.
Since realizing that he may be interested in something more, I just feel incredibly uncomfortable. I've realized it has really annoyed and pissed me off a little that he wasn't just happy with being friends or thought me being friendly and kind meant I wanted something more from him.
How would you handle this? Our office is SO small so there is NO avoiding and he also waits for me after work as we go in the same direction.. I've told him he really doesn't need to do this several times not but he continues to do it anyway.
What do I do?