I've name changed for this as it’s potentially outing.
DH has recently gone NC with his parents. He has a bit of a complicated family set up, he was physically abused by some family members when he was little and was emotionally neglected by his parents who among other things, let this go on. Things have been really up and down the past two years with lots of fallings out with all of his siblings and parents. DH has always been the “odd one out”.
He has recently put some boundaries in place, he basically told his parents that he needed to be completely NC. They said they were upset as they didn’t want this, but DH said it seemed like they accepted it. However, a few weeks later they violated one of the specific boundaries DH had set. His family then became very upset, and DH received some awful messages and phone calls when he reinforced the boundary.
The reason DH feels he needs to be no contact is because every time they get in touch, whether it’s in person by phone or by message, it brings everything up for him and really upsets him, causes him a lot of stress so much so that it triggers his insomnia and he will wake up at 3am and lay worrying over it all until his alarm goes off. He’s really miserable which isn’t normal for him and I hate seeing him like this.
I really want to help DH and I try to be as supportive as I can but I don’t know what to do or say. He won’t see a counsellor or anyone over it.
Has anyone been through similar, and how have you dealt with it? Is there anything I can do to support DH, or I was hoping you might have some book recommendations that might be able to help in lieu of DH seeing a professional?