Long distant relationships

[Gloriousmidnight]

Did I do the right thing by telling the guy I’m seeing I can’t continue because we don’t speak or see each other enough??
We do love each other a lot but unfortunately due to children and work commitments we can’t see each other more than once or twice a month. He doesn’t have much spare time in the day for phone calls or texts either. When we do see each other or speak it’s wonderful of course, but for me I need a lot more communication for a real relationship to work. It breaks my heart to let him go because he’s the only man I’ve ever loved and the chances of us meeting at all were so slim it almost feels like it was supposed to be.
Has anyone had a long distance relationship that did work?? Is it possible to keep working at it with minimal communication?? I don’t want to lose him but I know I can never be happy if this is how it’ll be.

Some people do manage to make LDRs work; but it generally requires commitment on both sides to keeping communication going e.g. agreed set times each week for a phone or video call, and a mutual understanding of limitations.

It wouldn’t be for me, personally, it all sounds far too much like hard work. It wasn’t “supposed to be” if the dynamic and situation are too difficult to navigate and making you unhappy. There will be more suitable men out there.

How long were you seeing each other? Dint know your ages or if you have similar goals. When I was in my 29s I had a long distance relationship with someone and, at the time. It did not seem possible to move. We eventually broke up because without a progression of a relationship, at that time of life when you want to start a family etc, it was not sustainable. We had a good run though. Thirty years later we are both divorced and though we still live far apart and cannot relocate because of children I am hopeful. I do feel like we were meant to meet all those years ago and kind of wish we had made different decisions. Love is rare. There should be time to talk everyday, etc though. No one is really that busy.

I think it entirely depends on the type of relationship you want. I had a LDR for about a decade (he was in London, i was in a variety of other places for work, between two and four hours drive away). we generally saw each other 3 or 4 times a month, but would also go longer without - and sometimes he'd stay and work from home for longer stints. but in general, we had quite separate lives. I quite liked that, and have replicated it in a variety of ways in my relationships since, so it works for me.

But, if what you want is a relationship where you see each other more, or have more contact with each other between visits, then it doesn't sound like it was the relationship for you, and other people's experiences are only so helpful.