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Relationships

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Original poster

how often do you and your dh/dp go out together?

30 replies

ggirlsbells · 01/12/2007 20:36

just interested really.

We hardly ever go out in the evenings together and it is starting to get to me.

OP posts:

Maidamess · 01/12/2007 20:39

Not often! Too be honest, I think we would both rather go out with our respective friends! He knows I like a girly gossip, i know he likes a deep meaningful discussion about football, so separately suits us better.

Together, we go out maybe once, twice a year! But we do socialise with other couples, as a couple.

bohemianbint · 01/12/2007 20:39

About once every 2 months, on average. But can be much longer than that. It is rubbish.

We had friends over to stay last weekend and had dinner and stuff. We're having to redefine our social lives, but it was really nice to see other people and not worry about babysitters.

olsmum · 01/12/2007 20:41

about once every 4 months or so to be honest, we are both single parents so its hard for us both to get babysitters, its even less often if one of us goes out with friends, i would actually rather go out with my friends as i hardly ever see them, none of them have children so its a real girly night out and not much talk of the kids (until i get a bit tipsy and i start showing everyone my pics on my phone!) it is nice to go out for a meal with dp though.

cazboldy · 01/12/2007 20:43

we were going out once a month prior to ds3, but since him (and then dd2)came along, never! and that is nearly 2 years ago.
it doesn't bother either of us as we wouldn't feel comfortable leaving them when they are so small!
plus we are pretty skint!
and babysitters are a problem!

cazboldy · 01/12/2007 20:44

we do seem to have people round quite a lot instead though!

fairydust · 01/12/2007 20:46

we go out together once a month its with friends but thats what we both like doing

harrisey · 01/12/2007 20:47

We have a local teenager (brilliant girl) who babysits once a week for us. Most ogften we go to our church housegroup, but about once every 6 weeks we go out for a drink, ot for a pizza, and sometimes even go back to college for an evening of work.
It costs us £10 a week. We think this is worth it - she's brilliant with the kids, and nothing is ever too much bother. She has done unpredictable weekend nights for us as well.

We decided when we moved here we would try to get a local babysitter who we could have regularly and this just fell into our laps. We're delighted.

ItsPotatoesForYouMyLad · 01/12/2007 20:49

maybe a couple of times a year. serious lack of babysitters. ds is nearly 5 and we must do something about it.

MaeWest · 01/12/2007 20:50

Not enough

We have been out together 4 times since DS was born 16 months ago. Both sets of parents live far away and difficult to get babysitters.

Am just starting to set up a reciprocal arrangement with one of my best mates who also has a baby so may improve a little.

LadyMuck · 01/12/2007 20:51

We're currently doing a wine appreciation course together, so out at that one evening a week. Tend to go out just the two of us once a fortnight, and then out to/with friends once a week. We have an accommodating teenager across the road. But our youngest is now 4, so have more enegry than when he was younger! Definitely have felt able to go out more now my youngest started school!

Orinoco · 01/12/2007 20:55

Message withdrawn

Iota · 01/12/2007 20:58

about once a year

bozza · 01/12/2007 21:01

We went out together with other couples last month. Prior to that was May I think when we went out for our wedding anniversary. So not very often.

harrisey · 01/12/2007 21:03

`ladymuck - I think that has a lot ot do with it. My youngest was 4 this week, and I deffo have more energy that even this time last year. Its also easier to leave my kids at age 4, 5, 7 with a babysitter than I would have found it age 1,2, 4! More chilled out, maybe, or maybe just more desperate for a night out!

NAB3littlemonkeys · 01/12/2007 21:20

DS1 will be 7 in March and we have had dinner out alone twice since his birth.

LadyMuck · 01/12/2007 21:25

Yes, I don't have a problem leaving sleeping 4 and 6yos with a 17yo, but was different at 1 and 3.

Original poster

ggirlsbells · 01/12/2007 23:09

Well good to know we're not unusual.We rarely go out on our own,quite often have people round for dinner or go to friends.
I think we need to make an effort to go out alone more.We do have a teenage daughter who can babysit for us so no excuse really.

OP posts:

LadyMuck · 01/12/2007 23:14

It is not an issue if you are good at being "together" at home. Dh and I aren't - we get sucked into other things too easily, so the only time that we really get to have proper conversations (rather than exchange to do lists!) is if we go out somewhere. And we notice the impact on our relationship if we don't put the time in. But we have friends who hardly ever go out together, but always manage to have a candlelit dinner for two once a week.

Acinonyx · 01/12/2007 23:39

We've never been out together in the evening withough d since she was born - she's 2.5. About every 3 mo we take a day off while she's at nursery to have lunch and go to the cinema.

We are very much like LadyMuck in that I find we talk better when we're out but tend to do seperate stuff when we're at home. I'm really starting to feel that we need to go out a bit more but we have no babysitter and dd is very shy.

Dh doesn't seem to feel the need for us to go out at all - he travels for work and so gets to be out a lot more than I do. Also money is a bit tight and a babysitter makes even a cheap night out rather expensive.

I'm a bit wary of the trend of us going out seperately. I'm not sure where that will leave us as a couple in the long term. It's starting to get to me too....

callmeovercautious · 01/12/2007 23:45

Once in 15m - she is/was a bad sleeper and won't settle for anyone but me. We are working on it and have the girl 2 doors down lined up for the New Year when my resolution will be to go out once a month at least.

If not there will never be a DD/DS2

EzrasMummy · 08/12/2007 10:55

we never go out together. i would love to but he doesnt seem bothered. i do suggest it but to no avail. and on th odd occasion (well once really) weve been to a birthday celebration he'll do whatever it takes to stay away from me, even help serving food and leaving mealone, even when i dont know anyone. and he denies doing any of this when i bring it up. oh well!

MuffinMclay · 08/12/2007 11:13

About 5 times since ds was born (19 months). No local babysitters. Parents/MIL live too far away and are reluctant to do so when staying.

EricScrooge · 08/12/2007 11:20

A often as we can. Depends on the occasion and who can babysit.

Sometimes it is a few times a month and sometimes only once.

I think it is VITALLY inportant that you spend the time together to remember that you are a partnership, are two adults (not just parents) and have chosen to be with each other and so need to remind each other the reasons you got together in the first place.

We always have a really good laugh when we are put togethere and have some of our most memorable times when without the kids.

I think that's why our relationship is so strong and we are happy.

EricScrooge · 08/12/2007 11:21

(out together)!

QuintessentialShadowOfYuleTide · 08/12/2007 11:28

Our sons are 5 1/2 and 2 1/2. Since our first was born we have maybe been out together once a year, on my birthday, the rest of the time we have had people here, for bbq, dinnner and drinks, etc. It has been a lot easier that way. Until recently that is. The last month we have been out once a week, maybe because it is Christmas soon, and there are parties and functions. But mainly because we have now found a babysitter we trust, and who is totally accepted by our kids. It is making our relationship a lot better.

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