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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I just need to say this because I have no one to tell

38 replies

SorryM · 25/08/2021 23:03

I was sat on the sofa, but I was pretending to be asleep when I heard him coming down the stairs. He woke up to go work, went to the bathroom comes out then says 'you need to call in sick on Friday so I can sleep' i heard him but didn't acknowledge it. What exactly did he want me to reply to that? Anything sensible that would have come out of my mouth would be wrong, so I pretended to be engrossed in the TV. He said it again did you hear me, and repeated the same stupid comment. So I calmly said I heard you. He then muttered something and swore. I asked him why he was swearing at me, his reply 'im not fucking swearing at you, I asked you something so why are you answering back to me rudely'. Even though he was the one who had the threatening tone throughout the whole conversation, start to finish. Because I was questioning why he was swearing, he tells me to 'STFU im on my way to work your starting something', then threw a dinner knife at me in full force I was covered in a thick blanket on the sofa so it hit that, I got up and went upstairs.

I have been at work all day, got home got LO cleaned and changed then took him out as hes been indoors all day, came back vacuumed, cleaned up, fed LO, bathed him and got him ready for bed. By the time I sat down to have my dinner it was half 9.

Im mentally exhausted by his constant up and down

OP posts:
IloveEB · 26/08/2021 09:02

Totally not acceptable behaviour from him, no- but I agree that he shouldn’t be working nights to come home and start looking after a child. Even if he gets 5 hours sleep later that’s still not really going to work longer term.

SarahBellam · 26/08/2021 09:03

He threw a knife at you? Let me get this straight? He actually threw a knife at you? OP you REALLY need to get out of there. That’s absolutely not normal behaviour and is a massive red flag - you and your child are in danger.

GoodnightGrandma · 26/08/2021 09:09

If he’s that sleep deprived he needs to stop going to the gym, and use that time to sleep.
But really, you need to leave. You are in an abusive relationship.
Remember- if you’re ever scared, ring the police.

GiveMeAUserName123 · 26/08/2021 09:14

He threw a knife at you!!!

HE THREW A KNIFE AT YOU!!

I can honestly say with my hand on my heart no matter how loved up I was or what the financial situation is I would leave and never ever go back.

His fucking mental!

TartanJumper · 26/08/2021 09:19

Him being sleep deprived does not excuse his behaviour, by the way.
I can't get over that he threw a knife at anyone, let alone his partner, the mother of his child.

FrenchBoule · 26/08/2021 09:36

OP, leave please.

Sleep deprivation is not a carte blanche to abuse the partner.

There is help out there.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 26/08/2021 09:38

Please leave. He could kill you or baby. If the authorities find out (which they will) you could be in for so much stress and heartache. Please just leave and report him to the police.

FrenchBoule · 26/08/2021 09:38

Why have you got no one to tell? No parents,siblings,family or friends?

How old is your child? Are you still in touch with health visitor?

Please contact Woman’s Aid.

Phyllis321 · 26/08/2021 09:40

Please leave, OP. You (and your child) are in danger.

Sattherelikealemon · 26/08/2021 09:44

OP you sound ground down by his behaviour and the childcare setup sounds unworkable but whatever the background he threw a knife at you. Thats not a normal thing that most people would do however tired.This could so easily get worse.

MistyFrequencies · 26/08/2021 09:48

He threw a knife at you. What if next time he throws a knife it's at your child?

I know how hard it is. But you have to leave. Call anyone who can help, anyone you trust and ask for help. You can do it.

FoxesAtDawn · 26/08/2021 10:10

Please, please get support OP. That’s terrifying. Next time that knife could you or your child. I know at the moment you are processing things and the idea of getting out is going to be difficult but you are in serious danger right now.

bluebell34567 · 26/08/2021 11:28

@GoodnightGrandma

If he’s that sleep deprived he needs to stop going to the gym, and use that time to sleep. But really, you need to leave. You are in an abusive relationship. Remember- if you’re ever scared, ring the police.
i agree, why does he have to go to gym at this busy time?
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