I'm devastated

[Michael4H]

I've been dating a girl for a month and thing were going great. She invited me to her apartment this week for the first time for dinner and as luck would have it, I just got a cold sore and had to cancel. When I told here about it, she freaked out and told she doesn't want to see me anymore.
I tired to explain to here that it's very common but nothing helped.
I honestly didn't think that a cold sore is that big of a deal and I would never be intimate with someone during an outbreak.
Maybe I'm wrong here?
It just made me feel so depressed

She's an idiot. 90% of the population carry the virus, but only some develop coldsores - myself included. I've had them since a child and never passed to anyone else.

You could have just gone round for dinner could you not?
But a complete over reaction on her part over a cold sore! She sounds like a drama queen.

Was she mad because you have a cold sore or mad because you cancelled dinner because of a cold sore? If it was me it would be the latter, because it suggests there is no point going to see her unless it gets physical. 🤷‍♀️

She’s allowed to stop seeing you for any reason she wishes, big or small. Cold sores can be horrible things, aren’t they both highly infectious and untreatable? It’s her prerogative to prefer to date people who don’t get them. That said, you are who you are and the person you spend your life with should accept you warts (or cold sores) and all. You have nothing to be upset about OP - she’s simply shown you very early on that she isn’t the right one and you aren’t the right one for her. That’s helpful really, some people take a lot longer to suss out. Don’t feel bad at all and know that just as there are people who wouldn’t like cold sores, there are plenty of people who wouldn’t care at all about them. As with all things: height, illnesses, disabilities, backgrounds, incomes etc they make us who we are and we can’t and shouldn’t worry about those who don’t like us as a whole package. Ignore her, you can find someone better suited to you.

OMG! You should be relieved!
Anyone that treats you like that right from the start of a possible relationship is showing you that they're selfish and have no respect for you or your choices.

Throw Fireworks to celebrate that, my friend! She's really NOT WORTHY OF YOU!

Maybe you could send her some.info on cold sores to put her mind at ease and if she still reacts badly after a few days reflection then you would have had a lucky escape

@ANameChangeAgain

Was she mad because you have a cold sore or mad because you cancelled dinner because of a cold sore? If it was me it would be the latter, because it suggests there is no point going to see her unless it gets physical. 🤷‍♀️

I actually just told her that I have it and didn't mention anything about canceling. She made it very clear that the problem is with the cold sore

She's a weirdo. Bullet dodged OP.

Well she’s shown you who she is. Now you have to believe her.

@LittleFroggie

She’s allowed to stop seeing you for any reason she wishes, big or small. Cold sores can be horrible things, aren’t they both highly infectious and untreatable? It’s her prerogative to prefer to date people who don’t get them. That said, you are who you are and the person you spend your life with should accept you warts (or cold sores) and all. You have nothing to be upset about OP - she’s simply shown you very early on that she isn’t the right one and you aren’t the right one for her. That’s helpful really, some people take a lot longer to suss out. Don’t feel bad at all and know that just as there are people who wouldn’t like cold sores, there are plenty of people who wouldn’t care at all about them. As with all things: height, illnesses, disabilities, backgrounds, incomes etc they make us who we are and we can’t and shouldn’t worry about those who don’t like us as a whole package. Ignore her, you can find someone better suited to you.

Bad luck on those people who actively choose not to date people with cold sores as over half the population have them without even knowing 😂

@Givemebackmylilo how does that work? Do you mean they have the virus without knowing?? I can’t see how someone can have a cold sore without knowing.

Although you should always be careful with new sexual partners anyway because they could of course carry anything under the sun.

I don’t think she’s wrong as such not to want to date someone with a cold sore though, it’s just her preference. She should be able to be as picky as she likes really - dating is entirely optional. I’m sure the OP will have no trouble finding someone else that doesn’t care though so no big loss to them in the end.

I’ve always had cold sores (every few years) even as a child, and not until I came on MN did I realise how much stigma is attached to them. Been married 30+ years and neither my DH or DC have had them. I’ve never given them much thought tbh.

They aren’t pleasant, granted. I’m glad I’ve not passed them on (as far as I’m aware).

You have the cold sore virus and she won't accept you warts and all. Quiet frankly I think you dodged a bullet. Imagine if you had of been dating 6 months and she then discovered you get cold sores.

Lucky escape

You dodged a bullet. Thank your lucky stars