Have NC for this one. Just seeking other people's experiences.
So have been friends with this person for over 25 years. Met at work. She was cheated on by her first husband. Became close as I supported her through it.
She moved about an hour and half away with her next partner. Relationship didn't last but she stayed in new area. However, I saw a lot of her as she regularly came to mine for the weekend. I included her in my other friends activities including trips abroad. We had a lot of fun times and thought of each other as 'sisters'. I probably saw her every three weeks or so, usually at my house.
Eventually she met her next husband. I was happy for her although my marriage ended at that time. Started to notice a big change in our relationship. No more trips abroad although she periodically came to stay especially when there were health issues with her parents who lived quite close to me. The odd invite to her house over the years but nothing like the amount of time spent at mine. There were a few occasions when she let me down.
Contact has tailed off and I had really started to notice the imbalance in the friendship ie usually me putting in more effort, time and money. She was happy to come stay for the weekend with her new husband at mine. Rarely if ever invited to hers. My new husband has never seen her house.
Haven't seen her for two years due to Covid and subject of meeting up came up. I asked her what she suggested. She said to meet at X as it was 'easy' for both of us. Said meeting place X would entail a five hour round journey by train for me and new husband and cost nearly £100 in fares. It would be an hour round journey for her and her husband and cost about 25%.
I told her that was not convenient and suggested somewhere more central to both of us. She came back with excuse that trains fares for them were too pricey and we should perhaps meet somewhere for the weekend and both pay for fares and accommodation. I would usually offer our place but we now don't have the room as my child is back from university. Also I was waiting to see if she would offer to host. She didn't.
Three weeks later, radio silence. I think I have my answer. They are not prepared to put themselves out financially or otherwise to meet up. I expect it will not be mentioned again unless I do, I have decided to leave it as there is a whole history of this.
My question is, what happens to 'fairweather' friends? Do they move onto more convenient and accommodating people? Do their friendships disappear altogether? I am very loyal to my friends and feel quite upset about the end of this friendship.