Is it normal to be so grumpy over a meal/takeaway error?

[Keepgoing88]

So last night on holiday I got my husband the wrong meal from takeaway, not completely wrong but nonetheless not what he wanted. He was massively grumpy about it, I said sorry, but he basically gave me grumpy silent treatment all evening. It just makes me sad seems not normal to get to upset over meal that wasn’t 100% what he wanted ;< this has happened before and it just gets me down , if I acted like he did about this he would no way stand for it

You are not a martyr and besides which there are no prizes handed out if you were to act like that which you do not.

Please dry your tears and find some inner strength within you that is still there to rid yourself of your abusive H.

What is he like re money and you?. Are you expected to pay "your" share/proportion of bills, childcare costs etc out of your part time salary?. I would think it a given you do not have full access to what he sees as "his" money.

No, you are being abused and ground down by a man enjoying his supposed power over you. You very much need to reduce that power and leave. You can do that, honestly. Start posting about how.

We need more detail about how wrong the takeaway was OP. But saying that, he shouldn't be sulking for hours like a child.

If your DS is old enough to have mobile, then surely he should be responsible for charging it!

That’s pathetic of him. Tbh, I’d be glad of the peace.
Eat it, don’t eat, get it yourself next time.
He can plug your ds phone in or your ds can do it himself. Sounds like he’s your boss.
Top up the oil in the car. No need to cry over him.

He sounds awful. Lazy. Selfish. Arrogant. Uncaring. Sulky.

None of these are attractive traits and all of them will make your life (and your DC's lives) worse and not better.

When you say he wouldn't stand for you sulking - what would he do?

You can have a better life than this. He acts as though he doesn't even like you. Please start making plans to get out - you deserve so much more than this lazy arse who sulks when someone gets his order slightly wrong!

Come on beat at his game, sort the oil out yourself, go out with the kids yourself, show him you dont care if he sulks, sing and mess about with the kids when he is sulking, he'll soon get the hint you dont care. He does sound a big bullying baby

@BigSandyBalls2015 ok soo here is more info on the takeaway. He wanted 10 mini fillets from KFC, I thought he said he wanted the mini fillet meal. Basically he got chips and drink but less mini fillets, I was tired and hardly ever go to KFC, I said really sorry anyway that’s the details of the takeaway !

He sounds like a lazy bully.
I agree with the suggestion that you should probably up your income and start planning your exit.
And just wondering, although this is minor in the scheme of things, why you were being asked to charge DS's phone. Why wouldn't DS be charging his own phone? Or if DH had used it, he could charge it himself. Is this an example of him expecting you service his wishes?

I think the same as delphinium. By the time he'd asked (told?) you to charge the phone AND then checked up on you, he could have plugged the sodding thing in himself. I don't think it's a little thing. I think it's just a small example of the way he treats you all the time. Your life would be so much calmer and simpler if you weren't having to pander to this lazy bully
Oh and there's no way he would want custody if he can't even be bothered to plug in his ds' phone. So don't let that empty threat stop you from leaving.

If there's a Halfords near you they will advise on the oil you need and put it in for you. Watch how they do it so you can do it yourself next time.
Try to ignore his sulking. Think about upping your hours or what you might want as a long term aim. You don't have to decide anything straight away but it might feel good to plan or research possibilities. You could be entitled to Tax Credits to support you with child care if you were to separate.

This is amongst other things the main reason I’ve ended my relationship. I do not understand how these men can be so loving, nice etc until something doesnt quite go right in their heads and boom..they ignore you like they really dislike you?!!
Harder when you live with them I know.

He’s a dick.
I can understand a moment of disappointment but to sulk all night for a slightly different meal is just ridiculous. If this is normal life for you I’d be starting to distance myself and get my ducks in a row.

He wanted 10 mini fillets from KFC, I thought he said he wanted the mini fillet meal.

Eh, I get hangry, and although I'd try not to, there's a chance that I'd be put out by this... It'd be disappointing, after deciding what you want, to get something different; and as others have said, I'd probably be a bit annoyed that DH hadn't listened to what I wanted, or text/called to confirm if he wasn't sure.

But I wouldn't sulk all night, and I'm not an abusive dick, and the rest of your posts basically confirm that your partner is.

If he can't plug his own DS' phone in; I suspect he won't really want to share custody - but even if he does, you get used to it. And it'd be a better life than living on eggshells while he tests exactly how miserable he can make you without you leaving.

Its normal if he's a dick.

Get him to write it down next time or go and get it himself.

Sulking is so unattractive in an adult male.

He has the right to feel annoyed and disappointed but he has a choice what to do with those feelings. He can choose to sulk and grump and push you away or he can choose to put things in context and put your connection above his feelings of hurt.

You made a very easy to make mistake and I'm sure you wouldn't do it again. Part of what makes a trusting relationship is having generosity towards eachother. When we make a mistake the other person meets us and says that really hurt/annoyed/upset me, I know you didn't mean it but I wanted you to know how I feel. There's communication, you both feel heard and you move on together. It doesn't sound like he is very generous.

It’s what a toddler would sulk about.

OK I'll be honest and admit I'm a savage when my husband gets my food order wrong. It's a pattern that usually comes down to him only half listening or just having a shit memory, plus his willingness to eat weird and wonderful combinations of stuff so being careless. We get round this by me doing the orders now because he can't be bloody trusted with it!

As a one off on either side it's not a big deal. However if he's holding a grudge over it or there's a pattern of him sulking it's more of an issue.

Sorry just saw what the meal was. He was an arse, you were in the right area!

@Keepgoing88

It was slightly different than what he wanted. I don’t know I just feel sad, it’s a common theme, I just feel trapped. I have wanted to leave before but he’s always said he will fight to have the kids, they are the only thing worth anything in my life and I couldn’t bear to lose them. Logically there is no reason me would get custody and I know I would have to share but sometimes I just dream of a better life for me

They all say this. They NEVER mean it.

This would be a deal breaker for me OP. I can't stand sulkers.

I agree it's a form of punishment. He wants you to feel really bad. I'd not allow him to feel he has got to me. You've apologised. Let him sit there in his misery as long as he likes. He'll get over it when he sees you aren't affected.

I want to add that he sounds incredibly childish

I get really moody when I’m hungry but I always feel bad about it and overcompensate afterwards! Sulking about it is awful behaviour. I couldn’t cope with that.

Plan your escape.
Every supermarket shop add a £20 cashback to squirrel away.

Start selling stuff on ebay or Vinted to raise funds.

And if child benefit is in your name then custody of kids and being able to get child maintenence off his salary is a stick on as I have just found out.