friends...your opinions.

[hls]

My oldest friend (of almost 30 years)and I are on the verge of falling out,or disagreeing at least - I can see it coming, as I am very shocked at her attitude towards- yes, relatives at Christmas. She is refusing to have her MIL who is old, and who, if they don't invite her, will spend the day on her own. Her attitude is that she played host for years, even though she didn't enjoy it, and now refuses to do so again.

I just find her attitude to an 80+ yr old so selfish and have more or less said so, and I know she doesn't like hearing that. Should I keep my mouth shut- and has anyone else had these moments when they wonder just what their friends are truly like?

The whole point of this is that the DH feels he cannot invite his mother for Xmas as his DW doesn't want her- he has to choose between spending the day with his mother, many miles away, or at home with his wife.

I'd like to say thanks to you all for your comments, but I am ending this topic from my point of view now, as I'm afraid there are too many posts from some people who are trying to psychoanalyse me, and not knowing anything at all about me, are jumping to completely the wrong conclusions- it's not about me, or my issues with a MIL.

As for it not being my business- well, that's missing the point entirely. It doesn't matter a jot to me what happens to the MIL - but what does matter is that someone I thought was more compassionate is behaving in a way that makes me question her personality and whether she has changed. THAT was the point- the issue of Xmas and the MIL is an example of that- it's a more fundemantal question I asked, which very few, if any, of you seem to have understood.

When a man marries his first loyalty should be to his wife, not his Mother.

Presumably if the DH felt strongly enough about it he would just invite his mother (his house too after all) or tell his wife that he was spending Xmas with his mother?