Hey all
I’m just feeling done. Like I have no energy left in me.
Long story short myself and my kids moved abroad with my husband 3 years ago with his job in the military. I year ago I made the decision to separate from him after years of walking on egg shells, he has anger issues (not physical towards me or the kids but he likes to shout and say horrible things) exploded about anything and nothing. Was super sexually coercive and one incident that I feel was sexual assault. I recently found out what a narcissist is and I would say this is him to a T.
When I said I wanted to separate he told me he wouldn’t let the kids leave the country with me to go back home and we agreed that we would stay till the end of his tour so the kids could finish school and the Covid situation was a lot better where we were. We slept separately and from a week / 2 week after he was dating other girls. Which was fine I had no feelings left for him at all. For the next 10 months (until we got back to the U.K.) he dated several girls where we were but also have several girls whom he met online dating who were based in the U.K. he would tell all the girls he loved them, wanted to have babies with them, called them Mrs. ........ (his surname)
I know this cos he did it in front of me or told me. I also asked him on several occasions not to involve the kids on his FaceTiming with all hsee girls but he continued to ignore me and did it anyway when I was out of the house. He even arranged to take the kids on a day out with a girl he’s been talking to on FaceTime of which I obviously went mad about. I just sat back and let him do it cos it made my life easier. Although I still had to deal with his shit a lot of the time it was better than before cos he was preoccupied. The week before we left I even dropped him off at one of his dates.
Anyway, 2 weeks before we left the place we was at, I met a guy at work and we just hit it off so we planned on keeping in touch.
I never told the kids dad because I knew it was cause ww3. Fast forward to yesterday, I decided it was time to tell him I had met someone that I was getting to know, because for some reason he decided he wanted to start the “can we try again” so I thought it was only right to tell him.
Well as I expected ww3 happened. He can’t believe I would do such a thing, I’m having an affair because we’re not divorced yet, I’m horrible and cold hearted etc. And although I know deep down I’m not any of those things a part of me thinks is it wrong what I’ve done? I’ve waited a year.
I don’t know I think I need some outside perspective
TIA