Page 2 | What would you do if you bumped into the OW?

Sealsun · 2021-08-24T07:57:05+00:00

This happened to me yesterday. It was inevitable really since we live in the same locality but, even so, it shook me a bit :(.

Pastryapronsucks · 24/08/2021 22:58

Cold, hard look up and down, then ignore.

Juddy2020 · 25/08/2021 00:18

My ex and I were going through a rough patch, we didn’t really argue, but we are also really weren’t involved in each other’s life lives. The vibe at home got so wired that I camped out at my mom’s apartment for few months. During those months I noticed on his Facebook that the same girl likes his posts always. Fast forward to the week of his birthday, my mom had her friend over and they both suggested I return home for his birthday, during this everything was okay for a while until I noticed he was always on his phone and was not having my attention like he used to…. A close friend of mine that knew about this linked up with a tech guy “Phantom” black hat hacker we helped me to run a background check on her and my ex, all I had to do was to provide him with few info’s on my ex phone, I don’t know how he did but he was able to get complete access to his right in my device without me even having to touch his phone. I was able to monitor all his activities including his location, call logs text messages, gallery and all. I found out he was with the same girl a day to his birthday after I was back home. I asked him about it and he said it was an impulse and a plethora of other excuses. I never saw remorse in trying to gain access to his device and never really tried to get my trust back. I never felt fully heard and he even acted like nothing happened. I stayed because I was pregnant at this time. The second time this happened I had to kick him out because I was already drained in every way possible in this relationship. I’m happier without him and I’d rather be a single mom than ever deal with that again. I’m an empathy, so you can imagine how traumatic that was for me as at that time it has been over a year now since that happened .I’ve healed a lot from this; but my heart is definitely still raw regardless of how things ended and the horrible decision he made that ultimately ended our relationship .i still hate him for that ……because this has made me develop fear of intimacy

sandgrown · 25/08/2021 00:27

The OW was my ex-BF . She married ex-DH years ago and I see her at weddings and christenings etc. I actually speak to her now albeit briefly, and feel nothing so I guess I am well over it . In the early days I did go round to her house to confront her and ended up slapping her !

Hellotoallmyfans · 25/08/2021 00:36

I've never had it happen to me but I'd like to think I would probably shake my head and say "aw, you poor thing" whilst smiling. Then walk off with my head held high. I wouldn't stoop to drama - i wouldn't want to feed the ex's ego or make him or her think he was worth fighting over.

ThreeWitches · 25/08/2021 01:53

@sandgrown

The OW was my ex-BF . She married ex-DH years ago and I see her at weddings and christenings etc. I actually speak to her now albeit briefly, and feel nothing so I guess I am well over it . In the early days I did go round to her house to confront her and ended up slapping her !

😂

changingsheets · 25/08/2021 02:04

My exes OW drove 50 miles to my workplace to shout at me, cry and let me know she was with my ex.

That's how I found out, and why he's my ex.

choli · 25/08/2021 02:10

@Stigofthedump40

Whats all this head nodding? I would be gunning for her.. not very dignified but id sure feel better

For about 5 minutes. Then you would be humiliated at how you let yourself down.

Thewookiemustgo · 25/08/2021 02:40

@Onthedunes completely get this. She didn’t look you in the eye because she couldn’t. She’d see a real human being then and have to finally acknowledge what part she played.
I don’t even know who my husband’s OW is outside of a name and I’ve never seen her or even a picture. He described her once, but it was probably minimised bullshit. I’ve never had any inkling to find out more or try to contact her. Pointless exercise. On occasions in the early stages I wished she’d contact me but I don’t really know why. I probably wanted to tell her exactly what I thought of her but it wouldn’t have made any difference or made me feel better long term. She wouldn’t recognise the truth if it bit her on the arse, and in the early aftermath I’d have been anything but dignified and ripped her a new one with my bare hands if she’d come anywhere near me. I was furious with the pair of them. She’s just an irrelevance now.

Peoniesandpeaches · 25/08/2021 02:41

@sandgrown

The OW was my ex-BF . She married ex-DH years ago and I see her at weddings and christenings etc. I actually speak to her now albeit briefly, and feel nothing so I guess I am well over it . In the early days I did go round to her house to confront her and ended up slapping her !

How did it feel? Can’t say I’ve not fantasized about doing it but she’s a lot (and I mean a lot) bigger so let me live vicariously through you

CanIPleaseHaveOne · 25/08/2021 02:58

@Marineboy67

I met the 'other bloke' who had been a friend at one time. Didn't go well, he was filling his car up at the same time as myself 25 years ago. After a brief exchange of words I ended up swinging for him. Police were called and I ended up in the cell for a few hours. He didn't press charges but I felt wretched about the whole event for months. No good come of it, and what happened with him and my ex was still there!

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this one Marineboy!

Nancydrawn · 25/08/2021 03:12

I find sneering the most effective thing. A single arched eyebrow and a faint look of disgust is far more cutting than anything you could say. Condescension wins.

1forAll74 · 25/08/2021 03:54

The first time I met my late Husbands new wife, after we were divorced.. but had decided to stay friends, I went to visit him in hospital, as he had had a stroke, and was temporarily paralysed down one side of his body, with some blurred speech, I went in the ward, and the wife sat on a spare bed,, she said hello to me. but then immediately started complaining about how her life had now been ruined by my ex having a stroke, she said she needed to move out of their house, as she didn't want all the bother of looking after my ex, with all his problems now.. She was just talking about him in front of him, and myself, as though my ex didn't exist.

AngelDelightUK · 25/08/2021 06:25

I went to attack her. I saw red and the mist came over me. Husband finished things with her and this day in particular, she was sat outside my in-laws house wanting to speak to hubby as it was his birthday.

When I saw her I literally opened the passenger door and went for her. The cow looked away, no shame whatsoever and that made it worse. I had to be dragged off. I actually swear I would’ve killed her that day I was so out of control

She was a nasty bitch though. Her cousin used to text me saying if I was a decent wife he wouldn’t have left me.

When he died I made sure that no one would let her into the funeral

mcvities · 26/08/2021 06:51

The OW in my case won’t go away. I’d dearly love her and STBX to disappear off into the sunset together but I keep getting ‘concerned’ messages from her friends on Messenger sending me pictures of STBX, her and my son. Ex only left three months ago, hurry up divorce

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 26/08/2021 07:10

@Muchmorethan

I insisted on meeting the OW after XH left as we had young DC. I wanted to make them both squirm.... but also show the DC that everything was not ok and we could all not be "friends".

Unfortunately XH didn't give me any warning that he was bringing OW with him when dropping the DC home after a visit..... and l met her wearing my grey teddy onsie...

I really rocked those teddy bear ears....

I'd deck her right off. I'm Italian.

Jonjojobs123 · 26/08/2021 15:02

I dread it actually happening. I maintained my dignity throughout, but the flip side of that is Ive spent a long time imagining all the things i wish i would of said.

I think if i see her i would walk past without a backward glance as i was very conscious of making her think she bore no relevance to me. She clearly thought her side of the story was important and she was important but i refused to engage with her. If she attempted to talk to me (we did know each other pre it coming out) then i'd love to continue with that stance but the real me wants to pull her up on it all and give her a slap!! 😂

frazzledasarock · 26/08/2021 16:01

It was so weird when I saw OW.

I used to live about two minutes up the road from the ex.

One day I had to catch a bus form opposite their house, which I used to avoid like the plague but had to on this occasion.

It was so bizarre ex and OW rushed outside and walked up and down outside their house for a bit, then she bought out her child, and then ex drove past me really slowly in his car (which had my baby's car seat in it which I had researched and bought).

A police car promptly turned up and ex had to speed up and actually move 🤣

I just ignored the crazy woman walking up and down the front of her house like and got on my bus which thankfully didn't take too long.

I moved house a couple of years later and ex is frantically trying to find out where I live and what I am doing.

I couldn't pick OW out of a line up truth be told but apparently she knows and cares terribly about me 😂

I didn't care that ex had an affair at the time it gave me a very good reason to leave him. But I do remember feeling like I had been punched in the stomach at the injustice that he could sail off into the sunset and I was left with a massive fall out with tiny DC.

Life is fab now, and my DC are beautiful and amazing and it is completely and utterly his loss that ex will never know my DC.

choli · 26/08/2021 17:00

I'd deck her right off. I'm Italian.
Did you deck your husband?

JengaNonConfirming · 26/08/2021 17:05

I'm 5 years on from my ex husband of nearly 20 years cheating on me with a teenager only 4 years older than our daughter. I dreaded the thought of seeing her, but over time it's become OK and we have a chat if we bump into each other.

What I think, when I look at ex, is that I feel quite sorry for her being stuck with him and how glad I am it's not me! You'll get there OP

grey12 · 26/08/2021 17:13

Some I know had a huge cat fight!