Dh says he doesn't love me anymore

[Jazzy1000]

I'm 20 years with my Dh and til a few months ago thought we'd a very good relationship. I love him very much and felt confident he loved me very much.
A few months ago I posted here over something that I felt wasnt balanced between us. Basically that he had higher sex drive. We ve 3 kids, jobs and have always had sex weekly (or thereabouts) which I enjoy.. but Dh would automatically reach fior private parts when we were in bed together. For example when watching a movie. Then if I pushed his hand away he felt hurt thinking I was rejecting him.
He opened my laptop and this message I had posted was on the screen and he read it. Basically he said it proved what he had suspected for some time which was I didn't love him anymore.(not at all true)
Every since (4/5 months) he has seemed more distant and when questioned says he doesnt love me in same way anymore. He doesn even seem to like me a lot of the time. Tonight he said he used to love me and I broke his heart and then he went sleep on sofa
It feels like we could split up easy enough now which I always assumed would never ever happen to us.
A bit of background is he has suffered depression in past and his sister commuted suicide in Jan 2020. Also his dad left family for another family (and lost contact with my Dh and siblings) wheny Dh was 16. his dad would have been about same age as Dh is now when he left which was something Dh had commented on.
Help- are we going to split up? If someone doesn't feel love for someone anymore is that it? I keep telling him how much I love him but he nearly scoffs as if I'm making it up. I've explained the only reason I was posting this anonymously online was it was the type of thing I wouldnt discuss with friends but he seems very hurt that I "bitched about him online". He know I'm always posting queries about the kids (and everything else) online and doesn't mind. Have changed username etc for this post and will make sure he doesn't see it.

God he sounds like a child. I’m guessing because you didn’t drop your knickers on demand after his immature move, he’s checked out of your marriage and blaming you because of his selfish immaturity.

Maybe his depression has triggered this behaviour, I don’t know but there’s nothing you can other than point him the direction of his GP to access support.

I understand that you must be devastated but I was in a relationship who thought his sexual wants took priority. I soon realised that my needs weren’t being met and his expectation that I’d become his wank orifice was not for me.

He is spiralling, telling himself you don't love him. You do love him. Try couples counseling. Before it's too late.

AgentJohnson, I think you might be projecting.

Previously when you posted, did you get a lot of people on your thread telling you he was controlling and sexually coercive?

Because this is more of the same, in a different form. He's using your "crime" of asking for opinions to bully you.

Thanks everyone for feedback. I do think his behaviour is really shit at the moment but we ve many good years behind us and 3 great kids. Tbh if this was behaviour from a new partner I'd be out the door. I'm just trying to make sense of what's going on. In many ways over the years he's a very uncontolling supportive partner.
He's been massively weird in recent months I know that much.
I'm going to ask him to go see a councilor with me, only way forward
Thanks again

You indicate that some message on a laptop was a trigger point but don’t explain the point properly. It is hard to make sense of the story without that information, so what is it that he saw?

@Aprilx

You indicate that some message on a laptop was a trigger point but don’t explain the point properly. It is hard to make sense of the story without that information, so what is it that he saw?

The mumsnet post she had started

He is a sex pest.
Gets the hump because you don’t get turned on by him pawing at you at every opportunity.
I’d ask him to leave and start divorce proceedings.

There's a lot to unpick here. Family abandonment by father, sister's suicide (which could also feel like abandonment), history of depression on one side. Sex pest behaviour and getting the hump on being called on it on another. If you love him, and you say that you do, then you need counselling urgently.

That all said, I don't think you did anything wrong by posting online. Sometimes people just can't get over things. (Sometime's men just can't get over their ego being pricked...)

It