do you expect your mother to remember your birthday, or those of your children?

[MaMaLa321]

not a whinge, as I'm used to it.
My mother has very rarely, if ever remembered my birthday, or (more importantly) those of her gc.
It's like, 'well ,that's the way she is' but is it normal? Or uncaring?

Yes I would expect a mum to remember her DCs and DGCs birthdays. Even for those with a bad memory it's important enough to keep a diary with important dates. It takes little effort.

So unless your mum has a MH problem or dementia for example, I would expect her to acknowdledge your birthdays. Is she thoughtless in other ways? Does she bother with anyone's birthdays? Does she expect acknowledgement of her own?

My mother was the same but to be honest she rarely remembered her own either. Birthdays were just never very important in her family.

Did your mother not buy you any presents for your birthday when you were a child? That's bizzare

I don't think it's 'normal' to forget the Birthdays of your dc or dgc. Not if you're close.

My mum usually gets mine wrong by a day either side. She came round with a card today singing happy birthday and I’m like mum it’s Wednesday but thank you

She always remembered when I was a kid and she does remember my kids birthdays so I think maybe she’s just getting a bit ditzy

I'm rubbish with dates. I put birthdays in my diary and set up MoonPig reminders so I don't forget them.

It's not great no.
My Mother forgot my B'day this year. She is now 80.
However, she has done it many times over the years
(inc when she was 40 odd and I was 20 odd, so not a memory issue)

My mum has 7 grandchildren she has an idea whose birthday is in what month but I don’t think she’d know what dates exactly or which one or even how old they are exactly she gets muddled as so many and 4 are same ages. She pretty much knows my sister and I birthdays but she calls me my sister name
Can’t let myself get worked up it’s in the birthday book she’s got so they all get cards etc

Yes I do. Up until the point she goes gaga.

Not now (dementia), but prior to that, then yes, my mum remembered all of that.

However, I'm not convinced my dad would have been able to remember it without her prompting. He never remembered things like key dates, our ages, or things like his own shoe or collar size. Now he has everything written down as he has had to take everything on.

I think he just mentally outsourced most of the family remembering while my mum did it, but always thought it was important so does it now that she can't.

100% yes. Or at least have caring people around her who would give her a gentle nudge!