Cannabis use

[Rallydriver]

Does anyone have any experiences of living with a heavy cannabis user?

My partner uses it all day every day.

Is it possible to even be addicted?

@MondayYogurt

Question for heavy users or partners: do they drive stoned?

I also noticed that wasnt acknowledged when I asked it earlier. Would be interested to know if anyone is willing to be honest and confirm either way.

If someone is smoking all day every day that means they are unable to work / provide childcare / drive / afford other luxuries on top of that much weed?

"he swears he is not addicted"
Common saying from addicts unfortunately, in denial !

My relative doesn't drive full stop.

My now exDH was a chronic user for most of the 20 years we lived together. Cannabis is a tricky drug because while it does have significant long lasting impact on a person, its effects are subtle in a way that alcohol and other drugs are not. I also find that chronic users are convinced that because it is 'natural' that means using it is not detrimental, which has been further influenced by the legitimate uses of it and CBD for pain control or control of symptoms for a number of illnesses.

Personally I found that my ex's use made him disorganised, forgetful and moody. He spent a massive amount of money on it as well, which was always a huge bone of contention between us. Ultimately it was a way of psychologically isolating himself from relationships with other people; when he was high he was free of anxiety but that also meant he never dealt with the underlying causes of his anxiety. It distanced him from me and his children.

But it is important to point out that when people are chronic users, they do not get "high" or "stoned" in the way we think. Their brains get used to the drug and so while it affects them, they are not out of it or in giggly munchie land the way most of us were when we tried smoking in our teens. My exDH used to argue that he was not stoned and therefore cannabis had no real effect on him and it was fine for him to look after the kids, work, drive, have dinners with our family, etc while he was under the influence. The obvious question then is, if it has no effect on you, why smoke it? He never had a good answer to that.

I found it very difficult being married to someone with a cannabis addiction because unlike alcoholism or heavy drug addiction like cocaine, no one takes it seriously. Although we probably would have had problems in our marriage regardless, his cannabis use made it impossible for us to have a meaningful long term relationship.

Obviously this is all my personal experience and I don't have any studies or whatever to back it up. But I would just say that if you have a partner whose cannabis use is affecting you and your relationship, you have a good reason to be concerned and don't be fooled by those who say that it is somehow different from all other drugs.

@IdrisArslanian

My now exDH was a chronic user for most of the 20 years we lived together. Cannabis is a tricky drug because while it does have significant long lasting impact on a person, its effects are subtle in a way that alcohol and other drugs are not. I also find that chronic users are convinced that because it is 'natural' that means using it is not detrimental, which has been further influenced by the legitimate uses of it and CBD for pain control or control of symptoms for a number of illnesses.

Personally I found that my ex's use made him disorganised, forgetful and moody. He spent a massive amount of money on it as well, which was always a huge bone of contention between us. Ultimately it was a way of psychologically isolating himself from relationships with other people; when he was high he was free of anxiety but that also meant he never dealt with the underlying causes of his anxiety. It distanced him from me and his children.

But it is important to point out that when people are chronic users, they do not get "high" or "stoned" in the way we think. Their brains get used to the drug and so while it affects them, they are not out of it or in giggly munchie land the way most of us were when we tried smoking in our teens. My exDH used to argue that he was not stoned and therefore cannabis had no real effect on him and it was fine for him to look after the kids, work, drive, have dinners with our family, etc while he was under the influence. The obvious question then is, if it has no effect on you, why smoke it? He never had a good answer to that.

I found it very difficult being married to someone with a cannabis addiction because unlike alcoholism or heavy drug addiction like cocaine, no one takes it seriously. Although we probably would have had problems in our marriage regardless, his cannabis use made it impossible for us to have a meaningful long term relationship.

Obviously this is all my personal experience and I don't have any studies or whatever to back it up. But I would just say that if you have a partner whose cannabis use is affecting you and your relationship, you have a good reason to be concerned and don't be fooled by those who say that it is somehow different from all other drugs.

Thank you for posting this. This is where I'm at at the moment, and it's reassuring that my concerns are not baseless.

@ladygindiva - you're welcome. I felt very lonely all the years that I had this problem. I felt embarrassed even mentioning it to my closest friends. I could instantly tell from my exDH's face that he had been smoking and I hated the look it gave him. I would not want to go near him, which I told him many times. This made no difference to him as he would rather stay addicted than be with me. It is hugely painful to admit this but it is also liberating. It takes a lot of strength and courage to overcome an addiction and the underlying reasons for having one and he did not have those qualities. My only concern now is that our children do not follow the same path, which is hard when society trivialises cannabis use.

@Eclairesarethebest

I am one. I use it for pain relief.

End of the day what's worse a raging violent alcoholic or a stoner whose worse trait is eating everything in the fridge and falling asleep?

Neither is a good option

I alway felt sorry for the couple of kids in my class at primary school who were really lovely and had clothes and bags that stank of weed because their parents smoked around the clock. Poor little things. No sleepovers at theirs and they used to love sleepovers. Could never return the favour as I suppose their parents didn't want to invite any reports. Didn't seem to realise (like smokers I guess) how obvious the smell is when you aren't nose blind to it.

My cousin has used it for years, since her kids were around 4 and 7 and now they're teenagers. Her sister (my other cousin) oves a joint too but she has no kids. They act as though it's normal like having a coffee or something. The older teenager gets bad bouts of asthma and did as a young child too, in winter she sometimes needs hospital treatment. I haven't disowned them but I would never allow my children to go over to theirs, it's not the sort of thing I want them to be seeing. I was talking to a mum of a 6 Yr old at a friend's party recently, she was smoking a joint, and says she does it after her child goes to bed to relax. She said its no different to me drinking wine...I don't judge her...its her choice, but still I don't think I would take my son to hers for tea or a playdate because I'm paranoid like that

I do it occasionally. Like as in every couple of months if that. I was a moderate user in my twenties.

Having a baby in my thirties and wanting to seriously further my career has stopped all that.

I see if the same as alcohol. It's not good to use as a habit, crutch or daily. Unless you are using it medicinally. And I mean by that pain relief.

I also do think it's less of a problem than alcohol.

The uk is one of not the biggest exporter of medicinal cannabis in Europe.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-44197038.amp

I do think that for illnesses that benefit from cannabis it should be looked into further by our government.

But if your partner is constantly stoned, making excuses to get stoned, just waiting for the point in the day he can get stoned well he has an issue. By default you do also.

It's expensive, certain jobs drug test, so it's limiting if he won't give it up.

she was smoking a joint, and says she does it after her child goes to bed to relax. She said its no different to me drinking wine

Hm. I've yet to see anyone get a contact high from someone drinking wine next to them.

People can justify any behaviour, I think.