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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is love enough?

3 replies

Klouise95 · 23/08/2021 00:16

So basically, I've been with my fiance for almost 3 years. I love him so f*ing much and we have 2 children (my eldest is from a previous relationship)
My partner is autistic and I don't think I'm at that point yet where I completely understand it and how he feels and thinks but I am trying. I know for a fact that I love him, he is a brilliant protector and father to our boys and everytime I look at his face I actually go weak at the knees! (The kind where you know you are punching WELL above your weight!) He is soooooo perfect, I just need a little bit of advice on how to handle him.
I moan about the usual things like leaving the milk out and leaving the keys in the door when I'm a late finish from work and I'm not going to, for one second, pretend I don't moan about stupid shit bcos I know I do😅 but how do I get him to understand that I'm not having a go bcos I hate him or however he feels (I do ask him constantly but he sugar coats a lot) and I'm just moaning bcos I'm a woman who is ultimately exhausted!
I just want him to stop thinking I'm always after an argument. Failing that how tf do I stop bitching about anything and everything? I just don't want to argue anymore! Some of the things we fall out over are so ridiculous but I don't want to tell him how he feels is wrong. Pls help me ladies!!!

OP posts:
NotaCoolMum · 23/08/2021 00:33

He may be reacting to your tone. Do you sound agitated when you moan? Maybe say “can you guys please remember to put the milk back in the fridge?” Or leave a note on the front door saying “please don’t put keys in the door as I’m on a late tonight! X”. Sometimes it’s not the topic of the moan- it’s the delivery x

Audit · 23/08/2021 00:34

I don’t understand your post.

FetchezLaVache · 23/08/2021 00:56

are you saying that you can't voice any legitimate criticism of his inconsiderate behaviour, because he immediately infers that you don't love him??

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