Relationship progression?

[Kalski1]

I've been seeing a guy, who I really like for nearly 6 months. I like him alot but my concern is that the relationship isn't really progressing from seeing each other once a week, hanging out and sleeping together.
We have been on dates but refers to me as his 'friend'. I had the chat with him and he said he wants to carry on and see where it goes.
My question is at this point should the relationship be progressing? Or did it take longer for you and your partner to be in love and say you love each other?
I don't know how long to keep going? I don't want to be with anyone else but sometimes I'm feeling so anxious and worried!
We've been on holiday and done coupley things together.
Is he just a typical bloke who doesn't say much and I should just chill out?!
Thank you.

@Kalski1 I think what you are hoping for won’t happen. And why would you be lingering around waiting for that?

@Kalski1 don’t do what I did and have an unplanned baby with this guy… total headfuck and my self esteem was mangled! I wish I’d been stronger at the start and actually listened when he told me he was emotionally unavailable… he also introduced me as a ‘friend’ while I was pregnant!

Still seeing each other once a week after 6 months doesn’t bode well in my opinion for a serious relationship. Nor does his comment about not putting pressure on him, not meeting respective friends or ‘seeing where it goes’

I would be looking elsewhere

This man is acting like a teenager. It won't change. If you let him, this man will waste YEARS of your life, calling you his 'friend' whilst having sex with you. You're not going to be the one for this man and he will drop you like a stone when he finds her.

That's NO reflection on you, but your patience is starting to hurt you = you're now doing this to yourself.

If you were right for each other it wouldn't feel like this. So don't take it personally, the chemistry is just a little off with this one.

Let him go and go and find someone who proudly wants to call you his girlfriend. This man never will.

@Mushtullo

Tell him there must have been a big misunderstanding, you have a policy of never shagging ‘friends’.

This. If he is your 'friend' stop sleeping with him & see what happens. You are both old enough to be in a serious relationship: if he is getting everything he wants out of the current situation he will let it drift on forever

If you want change, you will need to instigate it (and that might also mean throwing him back & meeting someone else, which is a lot easier at your age than 5-10 years from now!)

Six months in and you're not his girlfriend, I'm sorry but I don't think you're ever going to be. You're much more invested than he is.

What gilda said is exactly right. He's just killing time with a bit of sex and company until the 'right one' comes along. Somewhere out there is a man who will proudly want to call you his girlfriend and introduce you to the people closest to him....and he'll probably come along when you least expect it.

Exactly @BarefootHippieChick and I know when you're in this position, hearing that someone better is out there feels so unfeasible and you just don't want to hear it. But the fact is, you have to be unentangled to meet them. Like boats going on a voyage! How can you discover new things if you don't leave the shore? Let this one go... you can be friends over text if you like (he end up consulting with you about the next woman, such a cliche but there we are) but you're going to get a better relationship, with a much hotter man than this berk who wants to call you his friend, cheeky arsehole!

Sadly, @Kalski1, this man is not the one who'll give you what you want. For all the reasons that have been mentioned. If he was into you, you'd know it... But, to be honest, he is no great loss. 38 years old and satisfied with a once a week FWB non-relationship. You can do better!

But first you need to learn to be yourself, and be BY yourself. It's possible that your failure to find a long term partner is due to a sense of desperation, which may be putting men off. You need to value and respect yourself and be happy to be on your own. And it doesn't matter what your friends are doing or not doing. Plough your own furrough!

Don't waste your prime years on him, after 6 months in and you don't know what you are to him, this shouldn't be good enough for you, yes it's hard when you really like someone and want it to work but you cannot change them, there will be someone else out there better for you, I'd start looking.

Ouch. Imagining being introduced as his 'friend' made my heart sink! What a pie to the face! He probably can't believe you've stuck around after that!

At six months I'd definitely expect there to have been ILYs exchanged. to have talked about future goals and dreams, to maybe have an idea about moving in and when (for example with DH at six months we had the chat about moving around for work and decided we'd get a place together a year in all being well), to have met a few friends and possibly family, to definitely be exclusively boyfriend and girlfriend.

I'm really sorry but he just isn't that into you. Have you ever read the book 'He's Just Not That Into You'? It's really surprisingly good! Very freeing. If he isn't showing you he's into you, he really isn't. Look for actions. If he wanted to be with you he would be.

If he isn’t calling you his girlfriend after 6 months it’s because he doesn’t want you to be his girlfriend. I’d finish it be text message - ‘I’ve had a great time over the last 6 months but it’s clear we want different things so let’s call time on this ‘relationship’ and move on. All the best, …’ And then block and delete.

I think it's fine if after 6 months you're both still feeling where the relationship is going. 6 months is nothing, and in Covid times, it won't have been a 'normal' 6 months either.

What I would object to is someone who is happy to sleep with me but calls me his 'friend' to other people.

You need to both be on the same page. If one person wants to take things a but slower, fine (so long as both are happy with that) but he seems to be doing a pick n mix - having sex, been doing this for 6 months, but won't say he's your bf or introduce you to friends as such.

If he wants to take things slowly then he won't mind if you knock the sex on the head.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong

You mention the word 'should' a few times in your OP. 'Should relationships be like this/that', 'Should I be doing x/y?'

Where do you think these shoulds are from? Whose rules/guidelines do you think you should be following?

Does that help you to see where you're going wrong?