Wtf do I do now!?

[Shadowss72]

Hi

Just split.up from DP of 10 years, so we've been together most of my adult life
He's moving out as this is my house. No massive argument, no cheating (as far as I know) just doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore
No children and he has been growing distant for a while.
It hasn't exactly come as a shock to me, but once he's moved out, I don't really know what to do with myself
Everything feels odd at the moment. I don't know what I want from this thread tbh

You are seeking a virtual hug and a handhold because you are feeling lost. You need to be gentle on yourself for a while. Hugs from me. Keep posting. Xx

OP,
It doesn’t feel like it now but he might have done you a service, you shouldn’t be in a relationship like this where you aren’t communicating and growing a part. It will take time to feel like yourself again. You will get to start over and that’s a gift. You can decide your future for yourself and develop as an adult on your own, before you find someone new. Be thankful that you have safe accommodations too. Do you have friends and family to support you?

That must feel really weird. I'm so glad it's your house, though. In a way you'll feel as though you're reinventing yourself - take it easy for now and I'm sure you'll be much happier soon.

The way you feel now is about the worst of it. No matter what the quality of the relationship you have to grieve. Time does wonders if you use the time to feel and think. Don’t just drink or rush to feel the void. I went through a devastating divorce a few years ago and was almost suicidal. I never believed I could be as happy as I am now.

Been to see friends and have told DParentss, so it feels real, as it felt a bit like a dream for a while.
Going between numb and sad
Suppose after so long together it feels like some part of your identity has gone
The house already feels empty although he hasn't moved out yet

Be gentle with yourself. Your picture of the future has been shaken up like a snow globe, it's going to take a while for it to settle down and for you to get clarity on what you want it to look like. Eventually it'll give you new opportunities but it will take time.

You also won't be able to turn off your feelings and attachments to him overnight. That's normal, you're human!

Thank you all for the kind comments, hopefully work will take my mind off it for a bit.
I'm glad the house is in my name as I bought it with some inheritance, although it wasn't enough to buy outright, I put the mortgage in my name only. All bills etc are in my name so I haven't got to worry about severing finances, he just used to pay me towards the bills.
Many people have it worse, children, joint assets etc. Still sucks though.
Wish he left me when I was a few years younger(and a few stone lighter)
The thought of starting again at 30 is daunting...