I've come to realise my husband has a serious case of the Madonna/Whore complex and it's tearing me apart.
He is 30 so of the age heavily influenced by porn in adolescence. When we first got together he wanted me to act like a porn star, but after we moved in together and married sex became more and more infrequent. He has to close his eyes all the time, and then he could only orgasm if I was facing away from him. He then couldn't touch me or give me oral anymore, it made him lose his erection. Then, he couldn't orgasm at all. Then he started going soft 60 seconds after entering me.
As a result, he wont even attempt to try to have sex with me more than once every 3 months. And he always goes soft. My sex drive has been getting higher and higher, but when I try and talk to him he says I'm a whore for wanting sex.
He went to the doctor a year ago and was given viagra, which he tried once and it worked. But he won't use it again. I have tried to explain I see sex as something needed in a marriage and it's not about being a whore, it's about intimacy and sharing. But he just doesn't want to know.
I can't put myself through the humiliation anymore so I've said I'm going to stop trying. This has really hurt my self esteem as I've worried there's something wrong with me. I've told him our marriage will not last much longer if this continues, I've suggested marriage counselling etc but he is so unbothered. I don't think he would even care if I was unfaithful at this point.
Can anyone relate to this, is there ever any solution? I imagine the answer is probably no 