Should I tell bf?

[Blueberry77]

Been exclusively seeing someone for 8 months, both in 40s.

My exh (who has been living with OW for the past 3 years) dropped off DC after holiday the other day, usually stops at front door, but this time asked if he could speak to me for a min. I assumed it was because something happened on the holiday. After I let him in to living room (DC to their bedroom), he tells me that he had a dream about me and I was very good. I was shocked so I changed the topic & called DC in to make it clear that our "talking time" was up & he left.

He then CALLED me about 30min later to ask "so what's it gonna take?". I asked "for what?", can't remember his response but something to the effect of acting out his dream. I just replied "no". I wanted to just hang up, but I didn't want to create animosity or he would make my life hell with contact & maintenance. I was in shock & wish I had said something cleverer. He then persisted & said "c'mon, everyone has their price", & even asked for photos!? I just said "no, I have to go, bye".

This happened a week ago & still can't get over it. Mainly I feel outraged that he thought he could even try his luck with me, when I've never given him any indication that I would be up for it. I just feel so disrespected. Ex doesn't know whether I'm seeing someone or not.

I'm apprehensive about sharing what happened with current boyfriend as he may think that ex tried it on because I led ex to believe he had a chance. Should I not tell him?

Also whenever I open door to exh I'm usually in PJ bottoms, socks, messy hair, not a scrap of makeup. Basically I wouldn't even let the neighbours see me looking that rough. He must be really desperate!

Would you expect your bf to tell you if this situation were reversed?

Good question. I would like it if bf told me.

Oh ho, do you think there's trouble in paradise?

I would tell bf, yes. I would also download a call recording app onto my phone, and set it to record all his calls. If he tries this topic again, lead him to be very specific, undeniably explicit that he's asking you for sex. Then you've got the bastard by the balls for as long as he's with the same partner.

(it is legal to record phone calls in the UK without consent for your own use, although gdpr forbids sharing it without consent. Bringing action against an individual under gdpr is riotously expensive so frankly I'd take my chances. By the same token it also forbids sharing screenshots of private conversations.)

@Blueberry77
Tell dp I would but would also tell ex that your ship sailed along time ago your now seeing someone new and to in future to drop dc of at door and when u open to drive away. And only to get in contact with you when it is about dc what age is your dc.

Oooh "EvenMore", I didn't know that kind of app existed! Thanks for the tip. He was obviously avoiding incriminating himself with a text conversation (which is how we communicate logistics) by wanting to speak to me in person & then calling me.

Probably trouble in paradise, don't care. OW will never believe me if I told her, as I'm the "crazy ex", so I'm not even thinking of going there. I don't think he could afford to leave her as she's financially supporting his very lavish lifestyle.

@Babyghirl DC is 10

@Blueberry77
Tell him no communication unless it's to do with dc, and will be at the door and not in the house. Tell him you have meet someone and contact with him will be limited unless its about arranging stuff for dc. You won't be interested in anything but that. Nip this in the bud he wants his cake and eat it at the same time where u with him when he met the ow.

@Babyghirl we were married when he met OW

Could he be trying to trap you into sending a suitably non innocent reply? Maybe he wants to show the ow you are wanting him back. Obviously he would delete his initial messages first...
You know if he is calculating like this...
Just a thought..

@Brollypackedforscottishholiday the bizarreness of it made me think that. He was offering me £10 a photo 😂 Especially as I saw the true extent of his deviousness and cunning during divorce process. I wonder if he's somehow found out about my relationship and was hoping to blackmail me into not getting full maintenance or something.

Would be tempted to send some photos. You in the bath - one of the taps..
In the shower - the shower head.