How do I ask exp to contribute towards the dc after year's?

[Allypallya]

Exdp moved out after 20 years together, just over 2 years ago. We have 3 dc together, 18,17 and 10.
He never worked, was addicted to weed and was abusive.
I have a non molestation order currently in place against him as he was abusive and threatening.
Since he left he has never contributed a penny. He also hasn't bothered seeing the dc.
At first I was relieved he was out of the picture, but now I'm angry.
He has got away without contributing his whole fucking life. I work full time and I really struggle financially.
I want to request money from him which he has always said he won't pay. He doesn't work but I know he recently inherited money.
How do I go about requesting some financial support ?
I'm so tired of being broke and why the hell shouldn't he pay??

Child maintenance service

Yes go through CMS - but unless he claims benefits it's probably futile.

Does he have any contact with the children?

You could write to him and ask. You could keep it brief and factual and list some typical expenses and say that as a parent, he is expected to contribute to the cost of his children's upbringing. Don't talk about feelings or behaviour AT ALL. Keep to neutral language, don't be pass agg or sarcastic.

Your chances are very low but hey, if it will only cost a stamp, why not try?

Won't you be breaching the terms of your none molistation order, contacting him? Honestly don't bother don't rock the boat.
I'm in a similar situation and havnt received a penny for several years. He also owes me several thousand. ButI'm just relieved he's out of our lives. My kids are much younger so I have many years of struggling financially. I would rather do it by myself then have him be any part of our lives.
The other thing to seriously consider (I would call child maintenance and ask them) is if they take inheritance into account?
Personally I think it's very unlikely he would pay with out wanting something back, thats how most abusive people work.

He does claim benefits. He claims PIP and ESA
He gets close to 900 pounds a month and lives with his mother. He pays no rent, or bills. I expect his sole outgoing is still weed. Meanwhile I'm raising his dc.

No, he has no contact with them. He never bothered to arrange any, he sent them abusive messages about me that are listed in the order so the blocked him on their phones in order to protect themselves. He then gave up...

Yes @Justmeandme19 that's been exactly my thinking.
I am so glad to be free of him , I'm just so sick of struggling financially. It's so unfair.
I did wonder if contacting him was breaching the order.

I think it doesn't really matter if your breaching it or not. Your opening yourself up to igniting his abuse.
Realistically your only receive help for your 10 year old, well for any substantial time. If he is on benefits his payment could be as little as £7 a week!!!
Try hard to let go of the anger (easier said than done I know!). When I get angry I remind myself that life was a lot harder when he was involved and I need to avoid this as much as possible because no amount of money is worth living with abuse and stress!!

I thought most non mols were for 1yr?

If you went through cms then you certainly wouldn't be breaching any order. But for the sake of £28 per month... I wouldn't bother.

As pp said, I wouldnt poke the bear for £28. The only ones who will get hurt from this is you and the children.

I wouldn’t bother

Why does he get pip?

OP wouldn't be breaching the non mol, he would if he responded to her. But anyway, he's not going to reply saying 'now that you've appealed to my better nature I understand that I should of course make a nominal contribution to my own children's basic care needs'. He will just take further satisfaction in providing nothing. Although you will get nothing/basically nothing from CMS, make an application anyway, in case he should ever receive an income that can be deducted from.

If he’s not working it will be a few pounds a week most likely. If he didn’t step up and contribute after the first, let Aldine second and third he’s unlikely to start now in reality.

He receives PIP as he claims for depression and mental health issues .
I'm just going to have to accept I'm getting nothing aren't I.
Ok. Thanks

I wouldn’t bother, my ex doesn’t work and claims benefits, hasn’t worked in 5 years due to mental health issues, he gets pip but they can’t touch that so he was ordered to pay £7 a week for our 4 children, I cancelled it he can keep his £7, I wouldn’t bother personally if I was you.

Just do cms. Don’t contact him.

I would do it, if you’re really struggling the 7 quid will help.

It’s a shit situation.

You have no claim in regards to inheritance and because he's in benefits you be lucky if you get 7 quid a week.

Solicitors letter requesting financial contribution towards the children, swiftly followed by an application to cms.. I would get them to push it through to deduction of earnings ASAP. It'll come out of his benefits money.

He won't pay and for 20 or so, it wouldn't be worth it.

Since your youngest is 10, why don't you retrain for something that makes more money? Lots of money to be made in tech these days.