Friend cancelled plans & won't reimburse me

[mooneus]

Hi all

Just wanted to get your thoughts on this to see if I'm right to be annoyed. So me and my friends had tickets to an event this weekend. I had paid for these. We didn't reach any agreement on her paying me back as she earns less than me and I would be happy to take a few drinks as payment back. However yesterday her boyfriend tested positive for covid, which meant she needed to get a PCR test done too. She still hadn't received her results by this morning and said she can't make it - fair enough, just the unfortunate times we are currently living in. But I then mentioned the tickets and what I should do. All she said was 'Yeah, not really sure what you can do about that'. There was no sorry or her even offering to pay for her ticket.

Obviously in hindsight now I should have asked her to pay me back as soon as I bought the tickets. But I just think it's rude and ungrateful that she didn't even seem bothered that I was out of pocket.

We're good friends and I don't want this to drive a wedge between us. But it is a bit annoying that she didn't seem to give a flying f**k that I lost out. She even went on to to say 'well my boyfriend had something booked and he's missed out' - and I was thinking sarcastically 'well that makes everything ok then'.

Would welcome some thoughts.

She only told me at 11am this morning and the event was at 6pm this evening. I texted a few friends but all already had plans or were working. Given that it was short notice and a Saturday i wasn't surprised. I listed them online and had someone say they were interested then radio silence.

I'm more annoyed that there was no sorry or I hope you can get someone else to go. It was very much 'I can't make it - tough sh*t if you can't go now'.

She's being deliberately evasive because she doesn't want stump up the money. Can you put a message on SM to see whether another friend fancies it?

Just saw you missed it - that's a shame.

Why did you have to miss the event? You could have gone alone? You didn't need to miss out. I know people who go to live events alone and that's what I would have done.

If she told you when you paid for the tickets that she'd like one and will give you the mn ey them she's cheeky bit doing so but it sounds more like you were treating her and chose to pay for hers cos you know she's on a low income. You didn't want her to pay when she was able to go because low income but now she isn't you want her to reimburse you?

I don't think she's done anything wrong? You bought both tickets, with hers as a gift (and if it wasn't a gift, then reimbursement terms should have been discussed before booking). You still ended up with both tickets, as she couldn't use your generous gift. You absolutely could still use your ticket. You could have invited a friend to use the other ticket or sold it on. It's not her fault in any way that you failed to get a taker for the other ticket, either a friend or for sale. She's the only one missing out, as she couldn't use your generous gift. You didn't need to miss out at all.

If someone offered to buy you a drink, and you accidentally knocked it over - would you then expect to reimburse them for the wasted drink not drunk? This situation is just the same, surely?

If you would have accepted a few drinks as payment, then can't you suggest you go out another time and she buy you a drink or two? It doesn't seem like you were expecting any money from her if you'd gone to the event, so I'd not see it as her owing you anything, I'm afraid. You could still have gone alone or with another friend and been no worse off.

I think that's really cheeky of her. Unless you explicitly said it was your treat I don't know why she wouldn't be expecting to pay.

So both of you decide to go to an event, and you buy the tickets. You never state its a gift. She cancels for genuine but nothing to do with you reasons, and people on here think you should suck it up. Er, no. She's actually very rude and entitled. Op, I would be very annoyed like you. If she couldn't afford the ticket, she should have said straightaway, she couldn't go, not expect other people to pick up her tab.

Take someone else!

Stick a post on your Facebook saying “ I’ve got tickets, come join me and all I ask is a drink” it’s all you was expecting from your ‘friend’

I think your friend is taking advantage of you, and this is even before the cancellation.

Personally, how people deal with money between friends is my litmus test on whether they will be a good friend of mine. I could never be friends with someone who didn’t respect fairness and decency, irrespective of how much disposable income we each had.

I’ve learnt from experience it’s best to be clear from the start, either it’s a gift or I expect to be paid back. The middle ground almost always ends up messy.

@SamVimes6

Take someone else!

Stick a post on your Facebook saying “ I’ve got tickets, come join me and all I ask is a drink” it’s all you was expecting from your ‘friend’

No, she expected to be paid back in drinks. Ie, she was letting her friend spread the cost.

She sounds entitled. I wouldn't lay out money on a ticket for her again.

I think I would put it down to experience and not offer the same again. She should be embarrassed about it but doesn't sound like she's bothered she wasn't going but what's more disappointing is she wasn't arsed that it meant you couldn't go, and to not even apologise is shocking

How much money are we talking about op?

Her attitude stinks, true colours came through there not nice or friendly

She doesn't appreciate your generosity. She sounds entitled and ungrateful. Lesson learned. Don't pay for her in the future.