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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do some women tolerate cheating partners?

1 reply

WhatdoIsaytothem · 21/08/2021 06:31

I dated a man for 5 years. We split last year but we started seeing each other from October.
He swore to me he wasn’t seeing anybody else. Gaslit me the whole year but I didn’t know or realise until 2 weeks ago… Turns out he was with another woman within weeks of our 5 year relationship ending.
I found out by accident.
I told her and she confronted him. He denied it all initially but then admitted most.
She was angry and hurt at first and said she he was awful for doing this to us both.
She has more or less immediately taken him back. After a year of him having unprotected sex with us both.
It hurts like hell that he has done this to me.
I just don’t understand how you could accept a man back into your life and your bed who he lied and cheated for a year.
It’s been 2 weeks since I saw or heard from him. I said we are over and he is vile. He is a narcissist but I only saw this once I discovered the other woman in his life.
I could never trust a man like that again. I’m just baffled how she can

OP posts:
Hypnoshiding · 21/08/2021 06:42

People stay with cheaters for many reasons. But it essentially comes down to they feels there's more benefit to stay than leaving.

Every situation is different so no one can why this woman stayed.

Did you post about this before? Didn't he go away with her and their respective children?

I am not sure there's much value to you, to try and figure this out. She stayed. You left 2 choices and you just made different one.

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