Why is it so hard to end when I don't want him any more

[Flowerpower987]

Hi, I'm in such a sad time I just not sure what I'm doing.

My partner and I have been together 10 years. It's not been working for the last 3 years. We just argue all the time. I don't want to be with him any more but no matter how many times I tell him I'm not happy and it's not working he comes up with ideas in working on relationship. We have both cheated on each other. It needs to be over.

But if I try and sit down talk and tell him I'm unhappy he storms out angry then comes back wanting to work it out.

I feel so guilty but we have grown apart got together fairly young.

I still feel devastated at the thought of ending it with him but I have nothing in me to work on it.

Is it normal to still feel gutted it hasn't worked out I just feel so guilty

He's attempting to control you. He doesn't have to agree that it's over. You need to start whatever plans you need to make- new housing or whatever.

End it, move on and start your new life.

Yes, it’s normal to feel sad about an ending :) This doesn’t mean it’s the wrong decision - only you know that. You’ll grieve for what it was & could have been but it will lift & you’ll feel excited about life again.

I think you need to physically remove yourself. No more chats / possibility of working it out / arguments. Move out. Take what you need. Don't plan to meet up. Minimal and only essential communication.

You know it's over, no point going round in circles wasted time.

Have you have any form of counciling/therapy? If there's a part of you that wants to stay or work it out then that could be something which could either mend the fractures or help you move onwards on your own.

I mean couples counciling/therapy!

No I don't think I want to stay I think it is more the memories. Every time I try to end it it's throwing everything back at me and making me feel guilty. Trying to plan stuff to make things better it's just so hard

@Flowerpower987

No I don't think I want to stay I think it is more the memories. Every time I try to end it it's throwing everything back at me and making me feel guilty. Trying to plan stuff to make things better it's just so hard

Controlling manipulating bullying arsehole

@BrilliantBetty

I think you need to physically remove yourself. No more chats / possibility of working it out / arguments. Move out. Take what you need. Don't plan to meet up. Minimal and only essential communication.

You know it's over, no point going round in circles wasted time.

No I don't think I want to stay I think it is more the memories. Every time I try to end it it's throwing everything back at me and making me feel guilty

Google GREY ROCK. And move out. Physical distance is key.