Husband never takes me out or plans anything

[SickOfCrap]

How do you guys deal with a husband that loves you and do everything for you EXCEPT for acknowledging that you need romance!!!
I never, literally NEVER get taken out for dinner unless I ask for it or plan it.
If we're going to travel, it's gotta be a cheap place. I have never been surprised on my birthdays with anything except for what I asked for...

This gets me really frustrated...

It sounds like you have different love languages. Look up the 5 Love Languages. It helped me and DH when we figured out that we express love and commitment in different ways.

@frozendaisy doing stuff for your partner which you know will not be returned is fine, if it makes you happy to do it.
Doing stuff for them which upsets you when it doesn't get returned is just setting yourself up for disappointment.

The only bit of your OP that would bother me is if DH insisted everything is cheap. Otherwise, no he would not book anything or take me anywhere. I am generally the organiser, yes even for my birthday, I don’t see why that should be a problem for me. My husband brings other things to our relationship.

A friend of mine has been married to a guy like this for years. Over time her life has become rather dull, an endless series of predictable events. Nothing ever happens or arranged unless she does it herself so she has nearly given up. No meals out, no random days out, no holidays and no gifts. He is tight but also seemingly oblivious. I see her mental health deteriorating and she has forgotten how to have fun/joy and struggles a lot.

OP, my husband is like this.
If I don't plan or suggest it, it doesn't happen.
Today, as the sun is out, I suggested an impromptu meal after work.
He pulled a face, moaned a bit and so we didn't go.
It's frustrating as our kids arw finally of an age when we can be spontaneous and we are both mostly wfh too.
And, of course, on FB my sister in law is at another lovely hip restaurant with her husband!

It bothers me OP as once he was spontaneous and thoughtful, but like yours, asks about cost and if I have any Tesco vouchers.

It is demoralising.

This was a big part of what finished my marriage. I was invisible. He does it all with the new girlfriend. I have a man now who does all of this for me and makes me feel amazing, cherished and appreciated. I’d never go back.

Does he have his own social life, go out with his mates?