Married but wondering if the grass is greener on the other side

[penguinboss]

I'm a woman in my 30s. I'm straight, well I've always thought I was straight. I had my first "boyfriend" at 12 and ever since then thought men were for me.
I got with my husband at 18 and that was that really!
However the past year or so I've had feelings like I'm not really attracted to my husband in that sense, I love him and he's my best friend but the idea of sex is a turn off.
I find myself imagining my girl crush and you know the rest 😂. I don't know if im straight, bi or gay. I honestly have no clue and can't explore it as im a married mother.
Anyone else been in this situation? I don't even know how to explain it to my husband I honestly don't.

You aren't alone. Apparently late bloomer lesbianism is a thing.

For several years I have thought I might be bisexual but it seemed pretty theoretical in a commited relationship. But this year I have had stronger feelings and wonder if I might be gay.

I had my first kiss at 17 and went on to marry him so I have zero experience with anyone else. I don't have a strong phwoar reaction to men or women which perhaps confused things as I was never attracted to what my friends were. But I catch feelings for characters or people and I reckon that's true of women more than men.

I thought it was just admiration or wanting to be like women. I had always assumed I was straight as a teen in a heteronormative culture and homophobic school environment.

I love and care for my husband and can enjoy sex with him. But I don't think I'd want a relationship with another man if we were ever to split.

Earlier today I was reading something on the gender/women's rights board and one commenter said that although we think of sexuality as an identity, i.e. you are gay or straight or bi, she said that was a cultural idea and that in the past it wasn't necessarily thought of that way, that there were just heterosexual and homosexual acts. That you either did or didn't do.

I don't know that it is a common way of thinking about it but I thought it was interesting.