should i insist we stay in a hotel at xmas?

[frootloop]

I'm dreading going to see the ILs at christmas. i have a very bad relationship with FIL and SIL due to them treating me really badly and i really dont want to stay in the same house as them, not to mention i will be about 35 weeks pregnant and don't think i could cope with any crap they might give me or sleeping on their prison slab beds.
i really feel like saying to DH either we stay in a hotel or im not going to go, or should i just put up with 'doing the duty' and suffer in silence?
i know dh will be upset if i say im not going, but i don't see why i should stress myself out by staying with people i can't stand to be around.

suffer in silence. it's christmas.

Have you talked to your DH about this? I think you should have a proper discussion about it, rather than just present him with an ultimatum.

Nothing intrinsically wrong/antisocial with wanting to stay in a hotel rather than at their house, imo.

What does DH think about the hotel idea?
Could you not use the imminence of the birth as an excuse? Not wanting to be too far away from the hospital.

I'm afraid I don't do the goodwill to all men thing. If someone's been shitty to me all year I don't see why I should be nice to them just because it's Christmas.

I'd say to dh that you'd prefer him to go on his own. Life is too short for suffering in silence or wasting time with people who are downright unpleasant.

You have my full sympathy. I'll be 34 weeks pg at Christmas and can't face visiting (or being visited by) MIL or my parents, as they're all such hard work. I'm being totally selfish, and putting me first.

If you really must go then a hotel is the the way to go. Not being able to sleep in an uncomfortable bed is such a miserable experience IMO.

Put yourself first (ime experience women find it so hard to do) and don't go at all. Sit round, each chocs and enjoy the last couple of weeks of pregnancy

Repeat after me 'You're worth it'

Talktothebees- im like that too, im going to pass my grudges on my children

We are going to be staying between 27th and 31st so not strictly crimbo but dh hows i feel and understands, i know he would want to stay in a hotel too as he can never sleep at their house, he's just scared to tell his parents that we (me) want to stay in a hotel.
we did it before and mil kicked up a huge fuss.
the other thing is is that they live in a teeny, tiny house, with a small double room and a single room. how are dh and i, mil and fil, and sil going to fit? i most certainly am not sleeping on a blow up bed on the living room floor, much more practical to stay in a hotel IMO.

i'm worth it!

[does sexy hair flick and pouts]

I'm always a bit peeved when babybees is smiley and gurgley with someone I'm not that keen on. OMG I AM EVIL!!!

I probably shouldn't have admitted that should I?

I think he just needs to be calm, but firm, with them. Don't ask them if it's okay if you stay in a hotel, just let them know that's what you're doing. And if they ask why, he says: "So that frootloop can get a good night's sleep and can chill out a bit in the evenings, after all she will be very pregnant you know, and so that you don't have the bother of making up beds and then doing all that laundry afterwards."

i'll wait until he brings the subject up before making my hotel demand, then i will tell him what to say to the ils and stand over him like professor snape and make sure he sticks to the script.
if he feels too guilty to stay in a hotel and insists we stay at their house then i will make sure i get a midwife appointment that i just can't miss

Hotel all the way if it were me I'm afraid. But book it soon or they will be full. Tell MIL that you need to go to the loo a lot and don't want to disturb them.

I would not go!

As someone else said, lie back with feet up, stuffing chocs.

Dh surely knows how they have behaved to you in the past, so you shouldn't need to exlain yourself further than 'i'm not going'.

I spent too many years going to these things just to please other people...now i just ask myself 'do i want to go?' and if the answer is no, then I don't go - it really is that simple!

take your own inflatable mattress and only stay one night as your m/w says you need rest.