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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I am fucking up my life not coping

4 replies

Halteu · 18/08/2021 17:52

I used to be a confident, happy, witty, kind person. I’m destroying myself and my relationship in the process by self sabotage. I can’t seem to stop. I keep asking my partner if he cares, if he’s bothered etc etc. I know this is exactly the way to push someone away and I love him so much I don’t want to do that. Yet im doing it. I want text him all the time, have phone calls etc. I don’t give him any room to miss me as I’m scared if I back off I wouldn’t hear as much from him as i would like. He’s not given me any reason to think he doesn’t care. But I’m ruining things I can tell. I’m a mess I wish I wasn’t here.

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 18/08/2021 17:57

Something changed, if you didn't used to be like this. When? Do you know what it was?

Halteu · 18/08/2021 18:01

Lockdown, the fact I’m older and no kids (35) only been with DP 8 months so not on the cards for us yet. I’m lonely. I see friends but they are in different stages of life. I feel unwell. I have therapy. I just hate my life

OP posts:
MrsTumbletap · 18/08/2021 18:22

You need to be happy with your life, become more interesting, have hobbies, passions and loves, visit friends etc.

It will make you less focused on him and will attract him/other potential partners more.

PermanentTemporary · 18/08/2021 18:32

That's really hard.

How often are you seeing him? My therapist did something for me when she said that a lot of people find 'dating' really difficult, that we feel uncertain.and corrosively insecure.

Are there any prospects of life changing posy lockdown? Are you working, or working from home?

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